Woman buying a car alone.

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When buying a car, women are advised never to purchase one without a man accompanying her, unless they know cars and have mechanic knowledge. It’s a field that’s still very much off-limits to women and men who sell cars can and do take advantage of women’s automotive ignorance, trying to sell them a lemon just because they can.

I’ve gathered enough cash to finally buy a new used car. I received my tax return and now I’m selling my old car. I just put an ad on Craigslist and have already been contacted by five interested people. Now my problem is not having a male to go car shopping with. I actually asked my ex if he wanted to go car shopping with me (that’s one of the only areas where I feel like I can trust him), but he said no (I’m no longer useful to him as narcissistic supply, I guess). My daughter’s boyfriend (they are no longer engaged) is about as knowledgeable about cars as I am, which is not at all. I don’t know any other men I could ask.

I did find a man at my church though, whose son buys cars at auction and refurbishes them for sale. He has proven himself trustworthy in the past, so last night I called him and told him my problem. He’s going to talk to his son and have him call me. He will probably be able to get a lead on a good used car at a very cheap price. So we’ll see what happens. I’m sick of having to drive the company car.

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About luckyotter

Recovering from BPD and C-PTSD due to narcissistic abuse from childhood. Married to a sociopath for 20 years. Proud INFJ, Enneagram type 4w5. Animal lover, music lover, cat mom, unapologetic geek, fan of the absurd, progressive Catholic, mom to 2, mental illness stigma activist, anti-Trumper. #RESISTANCE
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20 Responses to Woman buying a car alone.

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I don’t think you need “a man” to car shop as much as you need “research” and most importantly, a willingness to walk away from the deal. Have confidence in your ability to be independent and make smart, rational decisions.

    The internet has made it much easier to be a smart shopper, using site like KBB (Kelly Blue Book) or TrueCar can let you know if the price is on par with market value. Also do some research on “common things to look for” when buying used cars. It is amazing what you can find with a simple flashlight and a willingness to crawl around the car.

    I know plenty of “men” who don’t know “jacks**t” about cars. Big part of it is attitude. If you come in wide-eyes with a lost sheep in the woods vibe, yea…that is blood in the water for the sharks. If you come in confident and no-nonsense, demand respect – you will get it.

    Liked by 5 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Thanks for the tips, Vic. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • I used to sell cars, and I have purchased cars all by myself. I agree with what Vic says. You have excellent research skills, Lucky. You got this. 😀

      Also, I love the graphic.

      Liked by 2 people

    • draughtrider says:

      I agree with all these comments to a point – sadly I do believe any (so-called) ‘man’ selling a car is more likely to work a shonky on a woman than on another man – just a gut feel. I’ve bought two cars from ‘good christians’ (one I knew reasonably well) who turned out to be the kind of people who thought honesty was only a requirement if you subscribed to their brand of religion (or maybe they just weren’t good christians, but who am I to judge – maybe they had forgotten about the dodgy repairs they had done). I’ve also bought cars which were checked by the automobile association and a friend who is a mechanic – in two cases (one of each) they were lemons.

      That said – do your research and pay for a mechanical check when you find the most likely candidate I reckon … then pray.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck! I agree with Plain Ol’ Vic up there. I’m a woman and bought a pretty decent car by myself. I admit though, I made the mistake of not getting my mechanic to check it out. I haven’t had anything too major go wrong, although I’ve had a couple necessary repairs done in the last two years since I bought it.
    If you know about certain things wrong that are fixable, you can use that information to wheel and deal. 🙂
    There’s only so much you can see yourself with an inexperienced eye, even if you do get under the hood and car with a flashlight.

    Liked by 2 people

    • luckyotter says:

      Eh, even if I knew cars and mechanics, I’m not much good at the wheeling and dealing aspect of it. Sexist or not, I’d rather take a guy along with me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t blame you really.

        Liked by 1 person

      • One thing I learned from selling cars is never never never pay “full pop” when you are buying from a dealer. Meaning, never pay the dealer’s full asking price. They always expect the car to sell for less than the price they put on it, by at least 10%.

        Also, watch out for the dealer “add-ons” — that’s where they get you. For example, say you find a car you like, dealer priced at $5000. As you are test driving it, the sales person says they will sell it to you for $4,800. You’ve done your research and you know it’s worth that. But I would still tell them that I can’t pay a penny over $4,500.

        When the dealer says yes to $4,500, you go in to write up the contract, and they may add things like $150 — or more! — to clean and prep the car. No, don’t fall for it. They should clean and prep the car for free, as part of the sale.

        The only thing on the contract, in addition to the car price you agreed on, should be tax, title, and tags (license) fees. However, I once bought a motorcycle for my husband as a surprise gift, from a Harley dealer. I researched and knew the bike was worth their asking price. But I also knew it had been on their lot a long time — it was a trade in and it was not a Harley. Although in great condition, I knew they had to be desperate to get rid of it.

        So I told the guy I would pay $2,000 less than their asking price and not a penny more — INCLUDING the tax, title, and license!! I said I had my eye on another bike on Craigslist if he didn’t agree to my offer (which was true).

        The dealer agreed, and when he figured up the added costs of the tax, title, & tags, it came to a few pennies over my offer. I just LOOKED at the salesman… and he pulled a quarter out of his pocket and paid those pennies himself, lol!

        It is also a good idea to have a mechanic check out the car before you buy it. Many dealers will let you take the car home overnight before you even buy, with no obligation on your part, so you can really check it out good.

        Good luck!

        Liked by 2 people

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