Today the sun is shining, and this beautiful break from the cold winter of Cleveland, reminds me how much I love and look forward to spring. While my heart yearns to be outside and to run, feeling the air burning in my lungs as I force my out of shape legs to keep moving forward, I am still scared. I am still broken.

I dreamed of him last night. And in my dream I confronted him about his behavior, and his choices. And his cold cruel laugh and his inability to look me in the eye, reminded me that it was all of a lie in real life. Knowing in my heart, that even though he was fake, my feelings were not. That even now, if he came crawling back I would still want him. It made me feel ashamed and angry.

I want to feel the sun shine on…