Exhaustion.

exhaustion2

I have a very physical job. The good thing about this is it keeps me in good shape and my weight has stayed down. I also like the fact I don’t have to sit in an office all day and deal with petty and stupid office politics, something that’s about as good for me as chocolate is for dogs. šŸ™„ I quit my desk job two years ago because of the politics. I like working alone.

The bad thing about having such a physical job is that I’m getting too old to be doing this much longer. Two nights this week I have come home so exhausted I lay down to take a “nap” and both times, slept until the wee hours of the morning, only a few hours before I have to get ready to go back to my grueling job again. Both times, I didn’t even eat dinner. Who wants to eat a meal at 3 in the morning? Not me.

It makes me so mad that what I really want to do–write on my blogs–I seem to have so little time for. My job just takes everything out me. Why are so many of us slaving away at jobs we don’t like and have so little to show for our labor? I hardly make anything. My car’s in the shop now and I can’t even afford to get it fixed. Why can’t we live in a world where it’s possible for most of us to make a living wage doing what we love instead of what we must? Why do we even bother?

I’d quit, but the problem is, there isn’t really anything else in this part of the country for a shy and socially awkward person in the second half of life whose only real skill is writing and blogging.

One day I’ll write that book I’ve been meaning to write.

4 thoughts on “Exhaustion.

  1. Well being too tired to eat dinner also keeps your weight down. You ask why things are this way. One word: capitalism. Capitalism is in it’s death throughs. And Americans are so far from understanding or doing anything about it. My radical friends scold me for supporting Bernie. That’s supporting the two party system. But what do they have instead? A movement splintered into fractions. They are so pure, they can’t tolerate politics that don’t match their own. Someone told me she wouldn’t work with Answer or Occupy because they aren’t Marxist. But the Marxists are the worst for splintering.

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    • I agree with you. Something must give soon or we will be going the way of the Roman empire. We live in a very narcissistic society that’s based on materialism and where ruthlessness in business and greed are considered real values (and empathy and altruism are “weaknesses” and it’s getting worse every year. You are nothing without money, property, and power. Any country where corporations are considered people is f*cked. I’m sorry if that offends anyone. I’m sick of it and Bernie gets my vote.

      And here’s an unpopular opinion: socialism (the type they have in Scandinavia and Canada) is better than capitalism. šŸ˜› That doesn’t make me a Marxist or a communist. I believe in freedom but there’s no freedom in a country where people can’t make a decent living and slave away at 3 jobs just to make ends meet. Most of these jobs don’t even offer health insurance (which, IMO shouldn’t be connected with work anyway). I don’t qualify for Obamacare and can’t get Medicaid. I think it’s insane we don’t have single-payer health care. If I get sick, I’m fucked. I’m one of those “fall beneath the cracks” people.
      It’s also insane my ex gets everything (disability income, food stamps, and full health coverage) because he has antisocial personality disorder and is “unemployable.” šŸ™„ Where’s the justice?
      Rant over.

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  2. I’m sorry you are feeling so exhausted, Lauren. šŸ˜¦

    I got a text from my daughter several hours ago that said ‘I’m sooooo tired’. I replied that I am sad that she’s so tired, then she replied: ‘…my body feels too weak for all of this physical labor… I’m exhausted..’

    When I picked my stepdaughter up from her 3rd shift minimum wage job a few hours ago she said the same thing, ‘I’m exhausted.’ And she looked it. She has almost no money left after buying the basic necessities of life every payday and she is tired all of the time. Our world is in a mess.

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