The useless parasite who lived on my couch got rewarded for having ASPD.

Credit: That Woman’s Weblog

I need to vent a little.

My MN/ASPD ex just received $31K in backpay disability for the seven years he spent living like a leech in my living room (after we divorced), making a mess everywhere, taking advantage of me, mentally and emotionally abusing me, refusing to work (so he could get disability–during the review process you cannot have a job), and not paying me so much as a dime the entire time he lived here. He played his horrible music loud when I was trying to sleep and got mad when I told him to turn it down. He complained constantly about everything. He brought in a Jack Russell puppy even though he knew I couldn’t have another dog and he knew I can’t stand Jack Russells (which is going to be my next post). Of course I was stupid to ever trust him and allow him to live with me at all, once we were divorced. But I was so codependent and scared of his empty threats.

I’m envious. And outraged. And I can’t seem to shake this toxic rage. I’m envious because he doesn’t have to slave away at a low-level service job and live paycheck to paycheck, but now rakes in about $500 more per month than I do for doing absolutely nothing. Plus that he has more money right now than I’ve ever had in my life even though I work like a dog for very little. The parasite is actually capable of working to some extent, but never wanted to work, so he successfully used a few medical and psychiatric problems to prove he can’t work. He’s great at playing the system, which is a good indication of someone with ASPD, which he has actually been diagnosed with.


And that brings me to my next issue with all this. The useless POS was officially diagnosed with ASPD. Apparently ASPD is recognized by the North Carolina disability board as a “disability,” for the obvious reason that someone who’s antisocial is unemployable. I understand that part, but why is he being REWARDED for being a lying POS who gets his sadistic thrills making people more vulnerable than himself miserable and crazy?

It’s outrageous is what it is. I recognized the anger I feel is righteous anger that most normal people would probably feel too in the same situation, but it’s mixed with this toxic envy of what he has and I don’t and this childish envy won’t go away and is eating away at my soul like an ulcer from hell.

So what am I going to do about it?
I’m going to do nothing. There’s nothing I can do. I might write a letter to the paper but not use our real names, just to call attention to the fact that this ridiculous state of affairs exists. Maybe some politician will read it and take it seriously. Most likely not. It might make me feel better to write a letter though.

But other than that, I have to accept this injustice. The jerk isn’t going to help me get my car fixed. I haven’t even asked because I know what he’d say and asking would be breaking my No Contact rule anyway. He’d say no. Even though it was on my back he was able to apply for disability at all. I supported him while he went through the whole process. He’d say no because he’s an asshole who likes to make people suffer. He has no empathy. He In fact, I bet he’s gloating right now over the fact that I’m still wallowing in poverty and working at a crappy job and driving a half-dead junker while he gets to enjoy all his new toys and sit around the house all day trolling political websites, getting high, and sleeping.


23 thoughts on “The useless parasite who lived on my couch got rewarded for having ASPD.

  1. That’s just shocking.. No chance to prove that he would be able to work? I totally understand your frustration and I know it will not help at all but in cases like this, when there’s nothing I can do and it eats me up, I think of Karma and hope it will bite that persons ass…

    Liked by 1 person

    • All I can do is write letters to politicians and the disability board. I’m not trying to take away what he has, but get some sort of justice, even if it’s just that some changes will be made in the system. Other than that, yeah, karma will make sure justice is done.
      In the meantime I just have to live with it. Over time it will get easier, espcially if he squanders away all that money. The way he is, it will be gone within months. Anytime he’s ever had money, he wastes it on things like lottery tickets and he gambles. I hope he loses big. That’s a horrible thing to say but in his case, I feel no guilt saying it. I’d like to see him back out on the streets–or in jail where he belongs. I know I sound horrible saying those things but I’m so mad I can’t stand it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh don’t. Don’t feel bad about saying or thinking things like this. He’s done enough to you. It’s okay to be like this in your case. After all you are not trying to do something really to him… You are just hoping for Karma to strike 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Do not waste your energy in useless anger towards another. You cannot control the behavior of others, including the state. The only thing you can control is your behavior, including your reactions.
        With the present political environment in North Carolina, though more so in South Carolina, I’m surprised that the state would enable someone with only an emotional or mental disability to live off the dole. I thought all those conservative wackos thought that ALL physically able folks were capable of holding down a paying job. Personally, in the case of an antisocial person, I would think there are jobs that can be done with little to no social interaction required.
        I also believe in karma, though we may not always get to see it in action. I have personally observed it, though, in the case of my BPD sister, who recently received SS disability for this condition three years after she applied for it, although she was physically able to work up until about a year ago. She lived with and took advantage of me for over a year before I finally booted her out of my house. I was a bit resentful of this whole process, and still maintain that she cares more about her dog than about her family, which lived with me, too, while she followed a dick down to Florida for a few months. Enough venting here! 😣
        Well, almost enough venting. I think, and have actually told Sis, that karma created the hiatal hernia that led to her ulcers that caused her anemia. I have just returned from holding her hand and seeing her through minor surgery to correct it. This required me to be away from MY home and spouse, social life and other commitments, for two weeks, which was at least one week longer than I’d anticipated. She thanked me for doing that and has even apologized a time or two for her behavior during the time she lived under my roof. Even after that, though, I still think she cares more about her dog than her family! 😠
        Actions speak louder than words and I guess I am still holding out some very slight hope that she may really demonstrate that she has changed for the better in my view, which is the only one that counts and I don’t care if anyone thinks that makes me seem cold or a narcissist or any other label you might care to put on it! 😜

        Liked by 1 person

        • I thought it was weird too, but he’s good–he was able to game the system by faking schizophrenia and exaggerating his knee problems and the effects of his diabetes (by deliberately not eating properly to cause himself to become sick). Very antisocial of him and people like that ruin it for others who really do need the assistance! He may be keeping someone with dependent kids who is truly ill from getting what they deserve.

          I believe in karma or divine retribution too. But guess what! He’s already gone throuhg all the money! I hate to laugh, but he will never learn. He still gets a good chunk of change per month though, but he’s still a miserable person. Money won’t cure his being an asshole.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. This doesn’t sound fair, but I tried something close to this, just in Denmark, where the government did chose to pay a rent for an apartment, which were very expensive for several years, while he were in jail for very bad things and I needed to escape with my kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds like both of my ex-fiancées…to the letter. I’m fortunate that I did not tie the knot with either one of them!

    Amazing how some people can play the system to the hilt without question, yet a person with PTSD from being in an abusive relationship has to jump through flaming hoops to convince just ONE person that, yes, stepping foot outside of my gate causes major anxiety. It sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It does suck and goes to show that narcissists always win in this fucked up society, whether they’re corporate bigwigs or government benefit leeches.


  4. What pisses me off about the whole thing is that assholes like him are taking money that’s intended for people with actual disabilities, while simultaneously giving a black eye to all the legitimately disabled people out there. I have several friends who are on disability, all of whom have conditions or injuries that make it impossible for them to work. All of them paid into the system during the years they were employed, and all of them need the money now to survive. The disgusting parasites who abuse the system just make life that much harder for the truly disabled.

    Liked by 1 person

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