The silent treatment.

This is a common ploy narcissists use to control, manipulate or punish their “prey.” It can be as crazymaking as their other tools of trade, such as gaslighting, Hoovering, projection, blameshifting, boundary violation, and triangulation.

silent_treatment

10 thoughts on “The silent treatment.

  1. Reblogged this on confessionsofacrazybitch101 and commented:
    Thank you for this blog. I am newly divorced from a narcissist as of June 2014…freshly coming back to the reality of what I went through. It’s been an incredibly HARD battle that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I’m still in the phase of seeing others, “Oh my God… HE DID THAT!” or “THAT’S EXACTLY HIM OMG IT IS NARCISSISTIC ABUSE!” followed by extreme nausea. Yet I am closer and closer to hitting my recovery head on. And it’s all thanks to people like you. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

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  2. Whether it’s done by a narcissist or simply by someone with poor coping mechanisms, silent treatment is one of the biggest relationship destroyers and is a form of emotional abuse.

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    • I read somewhere that eye rolling was a relationship destroyer too. It’s very condescending but I know non narcs who do that and I sometimes do it myself.

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  3. They play games. And nice kind empathic people do not deserve their crazy making and abuse. It hurts to detach from them because they’ve got you down right addicted to their cycle of abuse. Just waiting their on the shelve for them to throw you a cookie and then abuse you all over again. They project… project…project.

    The best recovery I can advise is to detach, and that takes strong will. If you fall off the wagon and talk to them don’t worry. After a few cycles of their 50 shades of crap, you will crave kind hearted friends and desire a psychologically balanced partner. These people are crackers and staying away from them is key to your own mental health.

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    • It does take a strong will to disconnect. Even if you manage to disconnect, we as ACONs may be drawn to another narc because of the way we were trained to be supply to narcs. And they are drawn to us right back. I realized recently that every last one of the men I have had relationships with have been narcissists except for one who was very bipolar. I tend to be very attracted to them and they can be quite the charmers when drawing you in, because they shower you with romance, gifts, and attention. They also move very fast into a relationship. It’s easy to be duped. At least now I know all the red flags and won’t be ignoring them anymore!

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      • There are lots and lots of Narcs out there. Considering they are so critical and self-absorbed with getting supply its easy to meet another one. I found that my listening skills became fine tuned after reading article after article about the Narc and the Psychopath. Once my listening skills were sharpened… boy did I hear the extreme Narcissism in people and gaslighting. I can detect it now. You have to be careful, but be confident because you definitely have the skill to know it when you see it. The tricky part is that when you see it you must avoid it, irregardless to how charismatic and charming they are.

        Its that charm that can get you. They are good at what they do. If your around one…you will feel a ill feeling in the pit of your stomach. That’s not love. That’s your own animal instinct telling you that you are in danger.

        A normal relationship feels smooth. Sort of peaceful. Its doesn’t feel like mountains are moving around you. Its not an addiction or an extreme high. You can feel that their is no power and control struggle in it. Normal will feel strange and maybe a bit uncomfortable if you need to feel the excitement from the cycles a Narc conditions you with. But a Narcs cycles will slowly drain you and stress you and possibly even kill you.

        My motto is if someone makes you feel that bad… You know you have to end it.

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