NPD is an inherited disorder (as well as acquired). It runs in families. Here is how it shows up in my family (immediate family shown only, as I do not know my extended family too well, thanks to my MN mother’s manipulations to keep me from them).
People raised in NPD families also have an unfortunate tendency to marry or enter into relationships with other people with NPD, and my family tree definitely shows this tendency.
My NPD Family Tree
Paternal grandparents: Grandmother (no NPD); Grandfather (possible NPD) —-> Father (low spectrum NPD); 1 other son (no NPD)
Maternal grandparents: Grandmother (possible NPD); Grandfather (possible NPD) —-> Mother (MN=malignant narcissist); 3 other children (unknown if any of them have NPD)
My mother: MN; my father: low spectrum NPD and enabler —–> 5 children from 2 marriages each (1 deceased): my mother’s oldest daughter is her most loyal flying monkey and probably NPD; I don’t think my other half-siblings have the disorder (they were raised with at least one non-NPD parent); I was the only scapegoat and have Avoidant PD, which is the polar opposite of NPD.
Me (no NPD); Michael (NPD, possibly MN) ——>; 2 children: son Ethan (scapegoat and non-NPD); daughter Molly (NPD, probably not MN)
Michael’s immediate family:
Mother (MN); father (non-NPD but an enabler and absent much of his childhood) —–> Michael (NPD, possibly MN); 1 sister (non-NPD but abused by her NPD husband)
Grandfather—most likely NPD (no official diagnosis). Father—most likely NPD. Me—various relationships with males with NPD. I was an enabler/fixer/codependent, which was difficult to break out of. It took a few decades. Thank you for sharing this.
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I would like to find out if anyone has done a research study on narcissism in family lines. We have multiple ones too. Full blown sociopaths. One reason for my adoption search is the fact I do not match any family members personality wise beyond the many other reasons. I can count a large number of narcs in my family.
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I don’t match anyone in my family either (except my son) but I definitely am not adopted (I wish I was sometimes!) It;s good you are looking into whether you were adopted or not, but you probably inherited the recessive gene for empathy and empathic people become scapegoats in a family of narcs. Unfortunately, narcissism appears to be a dominant genetic trait, and empathy a recessive one. It’s interesting and definitely needs further research. Good luck with your search! 🙂
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Very interesting post. Congratulations on being a survivor and finding nonmalignant ways of coping and healing.
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It’s getting easier, even though I just discovered my own daughter’s NPD and am now trying to come to terms with that.
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I wish you strength, patience and a path to a peaceful life. It is glad to hear that it gets easier.
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