Why I’ll never have a Youtube channel.


Yesterday, someone asked me why I don’t have a Youtube  channel.  That’s a good question and I’m going to answer it.

Having an accompanying Youtube channel seems to be increasingly popular among bloggers, especially those who blog about mental health issues. It’s so ubiquitous these days, that it seems almost required to have a Youtube channel to get any sort of traffic for your blog (this blog does just fine traffic-wise without one).   If you’re a mental illness blogger and aren’t on Youtube, people wonder why the hell aren’t you? They suspect that maybe you have something to hide.

Let ’em think whatever they want. Because you won’t ever see me nailing up a shingle on Youtube. No way, no how. And I’ll tell you why.

1. I’m socially awkward and not very articulate.
It’s true. While I express myself very well in the written form and can present myself well verbally when I must (such as on job interviews and horrible office Christmas parties), the latter is very exhausting for me. As an INFJ and a person with Avoidant Personality Disorder, I’m an introvert and socially anxious. That extends to speaking into a camera on my computer, knowing that my voice is what people will be listening to and my face is what people will be looking at. I pepper my spoken language with a lot of filler and “ums” and “uhs” and “you knows” and “likes” and do strange things with my hands and face while speaking to cover the fact my mind goes completely blank when I have to speak in front of other people, even if it’s recorded ahead of time.

2. I’m not a performer.
I know not everyone with a Youtube channel is trying to be a celebrity and many mental health and narcissistic abuse v-loggers are wonderful people who probably have good hearts and really want to help others. But for me, talking to an audience for the purpose of making a video comes very close to feeling like a performance, and that’s just a whole lot of stress I don’t need or want.

3. I don’t want to worry about what I look like.
When I blog, I’m usually lounging around on my bed or on the couch, my hair uncombed and my face as naked as I was on the day I was born. I’m usually dressed in some grungy pair of threadbare in the thighs jeans or yoga pants 3 sizes too big (I lost a lot of weight the past couple of years but haven’t replaced many of my clothes) and a holey T-shirt covered with coffee stains. On a few occasions (especially in the summer when it’s hot), I like to lounge around in nothing but my underwear and a tank top. I also like to eat or chew gum while I blog, and have no particular desire to be talking to an audience while snapping Wrigley’s or munching on a mouthful of Herr’s Cheese Balls.

So don’t go looking for me on Youtube, because the only thing I’ll ever be doing there is commenting on other people’s videos.



22 thoughts on “Why I’ll never have a Youtube channel.

  1. I actually have a video on youtube, now that you mention it, along with 50,000 others. I uploaded it a few years ago, maybe I should check on how it’s doing! It’s important to me, but not my best stuff, not a huge talent in that area. I wouldn’t worry unless you’re heading for Bloggers Hollywood
    Awards. I’m sticking to the writing and blogging, seems to be working for me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to share my insight on this. I think your articulate. I have spoken to you and you come across just fine. I have also suffered in the past from performance anxiety, and I always wanted to be a stage performer. To start, if you ask many stage performers if they have performance anxiety they will tell you, “yes they had or still do have performance anxieties.” I still do. Its not as bad as it use to be.

    The very first time I got up on stage in my adult life in an acting class I had to sing a song acapella in front of a large group of people. I chose the song, “Something” by the Beatles. When I began to sing, my knees shook like crazy. Once I was finished and we talked about the experience, I learned the rest of the class did not notice that I was nervous. That blew my mind that they didn’t notice. I was terrified when I went up there.

    I’ll be honest with you. Any form of theater or public speaking, the church choir your in and all that stuff are actually a great excerises for you. And I advise you give your self little pushes, because you will drive yourself out of a majority of that social awkwardness.

    Last New Years Eve. I was afraid to drive in NYC on New Years Eve. So I did exactly the opposite of what my voice head told me to do. I got in my car and drove into the East Village. Listen to your heart and not that voice head that stems from mother who tainted you.

    Another thing I learned my voice head was doing is this. I always thought people who achieved high academic degrees or high positions were superior humans. Its all BS. They are people just like you and me. Prick their skin and they all bleed the same color. I even thought the Christian Pastors were closer to God then me. Some of them want you to think that way. Believe me, their no where closer to God than you and I. They aren’t smarter, better and obviously based on your writing they aren’t more creative then you.

    Its all in the Introspectrum of our head voice. We are programmed. Just pull the head voice plug out.

    Liked by 1 person

          • Then you know what you want. I shared this article with a friend of mine who has turned out to be another Angel in my life. She said that this article is an example of being stuck in a head voice. She said…(meaning focus on what ypu want), focus on your dreams and let go of the negative within the head voice.

            I’ve also released the Narcissist is a fallen Angel in the sense that they are a mirror reflection of all your positive attractions within the universe. During the love bombing stage they fall in love (fantasy) with your best attributes. You become high within the reflection of yourself. They give you the approval you’ve searched for all your life. You walk through life as a broken little girl in adolescence, and they know your weak points because they assess you well. They only know how to live in their head voice and their head is always spinning to the point where they can’t even sleep through a night.

            All we need to do is feed ourselves. All the Narcissist is, is YOU. A reflection.

            My friend says let go of what is behind you. Look at life as a book. And people come in and out of your life as you continue to write your own story. The pen is in your hand. Your life is your book and you write it.

            I told my friend that this year I attempt to distance myself from negative people. This includes negative females as well. I have surrounded myself with pathologically envious and competitive females throughout my life. They are far more damaging then most of the men I’ve ever known. Its funny but lately I am beginning to surround myself with a lot more male friends. I have a small handful of female friends that are uplifting. I’ve eliminated the jealous ones, because they are too dysfunctional to hang around.

            Its a brand new year and I call in the positive surroundings and self reflect and reflect the beauty in the Universe from within my heart.

            2016 is a beautiful year ❤

            Liked by 1 person

            • I have this feeling 2016 is going to be a great year for you and me both! Sometimes it’s the simplest things can make us happiest–right now I am drinking some delicious hot cocoa and about to curl up with a book and take a nap. Ahhh! You don’t need to spend a lot of money to find beautiful serene moments that can come from simple things–plying with a dog or cat, taking a nap, hot cocoa, puttering in the garden, talking to a friend, just spending time with your thoughts–all these things are gifts we take for granted. I just wrote a post about the hot chocolate, lol.

              Liked by 1 person

  3. My thoughts: You don’t need a YouTube channel.
    You don’t need to give yourself a hard time for not having a YouTube channel.
    There is no need to push yourself into having your own YouTube channel.
    Having your own YouTube channel will not make you a more complete person.
    Humans have been around for several hundreds of thousands of years, without their own YouTube channel.
    Some people are more comfortable writing words than having their own YouTube channel.
    Many people prefer reading words to watching a YouTube channel.
    If you say the words “YouTube channel” repeatedly they lose all meaning…
    Err, that’s all I got for now.

    Liked by 2 people

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