Nooooo! Not another one!


Sam Vaknin is not alone. Tony Brown is another a self admitted narcissist who has a self-help forum, “Heal NPD: Ask a Narcissist”

I took a look around the forum out of curiosity. All I can say from what I’ve seen on the site is Mr. Brown seems a little controversial. Apparently he’s claiming NPD can be cured and his site is meant as an antidote to Vaknin’s pessimism and negativity (Vaknin does not seem very well liked on the site). Has Brown been cured? Something doesn’t seem right. I have no idea who Brown is or where he came from. It’s interesting though.

I read some of the entries from members, who are both NPD sufferers (called NPDers) and non-NPD survivors like us. It’s interesting and eye opening reading some of what those on “the other side” have to say about their disorder. I was intrigued by one NPD poster who said that whenever anyone told her they loved her, she felt like she had died.

God, I love the Internet.

15 thoughts on “Nooooo! Not another one!

  1. “Heal NPD” is certainly questionable. The BbBoard site (2001-07) looks half-expired; the forum (c.2003) was apparently abandoned in 2008. Many of the images aren’t available (403 ‘forbidden’ error). But a forum, some of it is helpful—real people were on there…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I noticed it looks abandoned too. But I think that’s happening with forums in general. I used to spend a lot of time on forums and most of them are dying, being abandoned, or taken over by trolls.
      Blogs and social networks are replacing forums as the preferred method of connecting online, it seems.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Makes sense, somewhat.  With 21st-century social media sites, it can be easier to convey the message (e.g., host images).

        The last time I used a forum (yelp) was…maybe 2013—I don’t know.  For some reason I wasn’t able to start a thread, and gave up soon after that, only trying to help others.

        Liked by 1 person

        • The last forum I posted on was overrun by trolls and the only moderator had long since left so eventually all the original posters left the forum. I don’t even want to see what’s happened to that site since then. That was about a year ago. Its owner should just shut it down.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. The Internet is a vast wasteland of dead and dying forums. So much has changed in just a few years. It’s still interesting to read old comments from 5-10 years ago, however.
    That gives me my next post idea.


  3. Hi LO,

    I kinda like that—“hi lo”. ha! Well anyway, a little history from a woman who was around when Tony managed his NPD forum. I was gaining a more sophisticated understanding of narcissism beyond “us” or “them” at the time, and Tony allowed me to be part of his group. He had a formal diagnosis of NPD which was later “officially” changed (no longer NPD) because of his therapeutic and self-help work. We bumped heads now and then (of course) but I learned a great deal from his writings.

    Tony sadly passed away suddenly even though he was quite young (in his thirties, I think?). If I’m recalling accurately, he died of complications from diabetes. His wife let us know of his demise and a few people tried to keep his forum going for awhile. I assumed his entire site had disappeared so it was a trip down memory lane browsing the old thread! Thanks for the link….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whoa. So he was the real deal, huh? A narcissist who actually cured himself–or was he getting therapy? I have to say, it did seem like a very supportive forum from the posts I read and his replies. They allowed non-NPDers to post too (using his terminology–they didn’t want to be called N’s or Narcs)

      That’s a shame about his early passing, and so young too. 😦 I’m glad I was able to give you that trip down memory lane. I never saw it before until last night.

      Dumb question here, but were you diagnosed with NPD or were you one of the survivor members? There seemed to be a healthy mix of both.


      • Tony was the “real deal”, official diagnosis and everything. He went to therapy and he worked with Jerry Jampolsky who created “Attitudinal Healing.” It would not be fair to say Tony cured himself–he worked a program. He did not justify the harm he caused other people—he did what he could to “fix” his problems. That is why I had respect for him.

        Was I diagnosed with NPD? ROFLMBO!!! NO! Do you think a narcissist would wear an apron as her avatar? ha…!! I guess I could be called one of the survivors who was interested in talking with narcissists rather than reading another book. It’s important to remember that the vast amount of information we have today, was NOT available a decade ago. There was actually very little online and almost no discussions about non-clinical narcissism.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I think it was a new dx in the DSM when I was in college. Before that I think it was just calld megalomania or something. It’s sure has become a hot topic these days. I think it’s great everyone’s coming out of the closet and calling out these f*ckers.

          I hope you weren’t offended by my question, lol I only asked because you said you were active on that board.

          I’m very impressed. I’ll have to read more about attitudinal healing. Is that like CBT or behavioral modification or is it an actual CURE? Tony didn’t sound at all narcissistic, he seemed very warm and welcoming in fact. So sad he died.


  4. I’m not easily offended, LO. Actually, I appreciate you being so honest and saying what you were thinking. I love it when people are direct and honest! You actually made me laugh and it was a nice relief! (my nephew has “official” Aspergers and the beautiful thing about that is that I always know where he stands on things. We are very close to one another).

    Attitudinal Healing is a “spiritual” approach to healing NPD. I found a link on the web and it appears their program has expanded WAY beyond what it was ten years ago! I’ll have to check it out now, too! You just never know where a conversation will take you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am definitely going to be reading about it now. I saw there was a whole section about it in that forum. I might do a post about it after I find out more. I wonder why it hasn’t really caught on, if it works?


      • My comment may have been misleading! Sorry about that! Attitudinal Healing is not directed specifically towards NPD. You will see that as you browse their website. I really do not know what type of professional therapy Tony had…he may have talked about it but I honestly can’t remember. I just remember “Attitudinal Healing” because I read Jampolsky’s book, “Teach Only Love.”

        Liked by 1 person

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