Happy Groundhog Day

9 thoughts on “Happy Groundhog Day

    • can you explain what you mean? I remember the movie Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays a narcissistic jerk who has to live the same day over and over until he learns how to be a better person who treats people well. Great movie. Maybe a narc could finally change if they were doomed to live the same day again and again like the guy in Groundhog Day. Bizarrely, that’s my malignant narc ex’s favorite movie ever!

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  1. Dear luckyotter:

    It’s NOT letting me “reply” to you in the usual way, so here I am.

    I’ve lost track of the stuff he and I have been through together, bad AND good, that he claims to not remember.

    I’ve told him the same stories over and over, and I KNOW he really doesn’t remember at least some of them, because at times he actually pays attention while I’m telling them.

    It’s as thought the past TWENTY YEARS never took place. There’s no history, in a way, because he won’t admit being part of it. There’s no shared stories; none of that, “Remember that time. . . ” because the answer’s always an impatient, “No,” in a tone of voice that somehow conveys rolling eyes.

    Stupid ME, for asking.

    I stopped, a LONG time ago. I keep a diary/journal, and I “talk about” my life in there, to and with someone who cares and WILL remember: Myself.

    I in fact say as little as possible, period,

    The rest of the Groundhog Day thing is the Sameness of our interactions. He bitches and moans about THE SAME THINGS for THE SAME REASONS. He demands and postures and huffs and rolls his eyes and talks trash about someone one day and declares them God’s Gift To Mankind the next. He projects MADLY, onto me and onto people whose motives and thoughts he couldn’t BEGIN to know, declaring The Only Possible Reason for my behaviour or theirs.

    I sit, quietly, thinking of that thing from 12 Step where they ask the guy what he does about the dervishes, and he says, “I let ’em whirl.”

    The upside to all this, and it’s huge, is that I have (VERY short version) grown, as an individual, in ways and to an extent that I never would have under any other circumstances.

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    • A lot of people have been saiying they’re having problems with the comments feature lately. Maybe some WP glitch. But I’m glad you were still able to comment.
      He definitely sounds like a malignant N. He doesn’t sound like he can ever change and he doesn’t sound at all self aware or if he is, he’s perfectly happy being that way. Good for you for journaling! For me, blogging has saved my life and I have changed so much in so many positive ways since I started to. No, my externals haven’t changed a whole lot, but I feel different inside. I’m beginning to know what I want and not living to please someone else. It’s amazing what you start to learn through writing about your feeling. I’m glad you follow my blog too. 🙂

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