Emotional vs. “cold” narcissists.

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histrionic_personality

Narcissists can be divided many different ways–covert vs. overt; somatic vs. cerebral; malignant vs. “benign,” etc. They can be divided another way too. Narcissists are either extremely emotional…or cold as machines. Underneath their mask, they’re all hypersensitive though, even if they hide behind a stone cold exterior. Malignant narcs are the HSPs who went bad. Somatic narcissists are probably more likely to be hyper-emotional, similar to people with HPD; and cerebrals more often the “cold, calculating” type, though not always.

cerebral_narc

I’d venture to guess emotional, dramatic narcs have HPD or BPD traits (borderlines can’t regulate their emotions) while the colder types have ASPD or Schizoid traits. Avoidant PD traits could go either way.

I wonder if any studies have been done to determine which MBTI types narcissists are most likely to be. I’d guess the emotional ones are probably INFJ and the second type INTJ. I don’t think most narcissists are that extroverted, even if their mask includes extroversion and sociability. Narcs really don’t like people and are too self-involved to be anything other than introverted, in spite of any outgoing front.

This means there isn’t a whole lot of difference between an emotional narcissist and an unemotional one, except for the thinking vs. feeling aspect. But even when they don’t show it, all narcissists are emotional and easily hurt when it comes to themselves. None of them feel much for others.

12 thoughts on “Emotional vs. “cold” narcissists.”

    • It’s entirely possible to be both . Was he sometimes cold and sometimes emotional (like jekyll/Hyde) or was he cold but you could tell he was feeling too much at the same time and that’s why he was acting cold? (I’m thinking of something like the silent treatment here)

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      • Both all the time, he cried a lot but he was very closed minded and cold hearted because he was not very sensitive towards feelings. He was also very judgmental. I felt he didn’t really care about me so I didn’t bother telling him how I felt and he would get upset anyway when I would talk about what was on my mind and what was bothering me and he always took things the wrong way.

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        • Ah, yes. I’ve known a few like that. Always judging, always crying, but always for themselves, you might as well not exist. They act like you’re a possession and get upset when you show you have needs or interests of your own. They don’t want to hear your problems, only cry on your shoulder whenever they want. And it’s just…icky. Like a baby with snot all over its face.

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          • LOL, he got upset one time when I was tired so I wanted to go to bed and he wanted me to stay up and be with him. It always felt this way like I wasn’t allowed to be alone as long as he was home. He called me self centered so finally I grabbed my pillow and blanket and brought it out to the living room and told him I was doing this for him and he sent me back to bed because he didn’t want to be a control freak. I unintentionally found reverse psychology to get my way.

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  3. This is as close as narcissists get to empathy. To summarise, the emotional life of the narcissist is colourless and eventless, as rigidly blind as his disorder, as dead as he. He does feel rage and hurt and inordinate humiliation, envy and fear.

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  4. Being an INTJ victim of MN mother and husband (what can I say, I was used to be abused), I was searching for an answer, of course, for what personality type would be most likely to be a manipulative, lying, self-serving, empty, hate-filled (as in racist, sexist, etc), not-taking-responsibility, and real or symbolically murderous person. I found this post and was dismayed by the implication that the INTJ because of his effort to protect his private emotions and separate them from practical solutions, would be accused of being the most likely to be a MN (along with INFJ). I have to take issue with that. INTJ is least likely to be concerned with external appearance of any situation, is not self-serving, refuses to be overtly controlled, and will not bow to anyone for the sake of making peace (in essence, lying). Because of these characteristics, INTJ is very likely to become a scapegoat and/or hero. On another website, I read that the INFJ, INFP, and INTJ were among the top personality types to be victimized by a MN. Why? We all share a thoughtful personality (as in we think about things and people) and are known to have principles. Therefore, we rail against injustice. Scapegoat! I have to tell you that I would personally rather be dead than to do to anyone what my mother and husband have done to me and others. And you KNOW that a narcissist would never say they would prefer to be dead! LOL. I have noticed a great deal of scapegoating on INTJ in fiction especially. In real life, we are fighting evil when everybody else is hiding.

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