First, a disclaimer: Due to a complaint I received from another blogger (who does not suffer from NPD) that these jokes could be insulting to people who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I need to clarify my intention here. My intention is NOT to insult those with NPD or other mental disorders. But because this is a blog for victims of narcissistic abuse and not for people with NPD, and many victims are still embroiled with their narcs and find dealing with them very scary or intimidating, humor about a thing can sometimes make that thing seem less dangerous. It’s easier to deal with something dangerous or intimidating when we can laugh at it. That is the intention and the only intention of this page: to give the narcissists in our lives a little less power over us which happens when we can laugh at the things they do. Humor is a tool that can empower us.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s have some fun.
Contributed by Pam:
There are two letter “i”s in the word “Narcissist”, and they both freaking hate each other!
A riddle contributed by Sinderella:
Q. What’s the difference between a cerebral vs. somatic narcissist?
A. One deserves to get punched in the head and the other deserves to get kicked in the balls.
I love Roz Chast cartoons. She gets it.
When narcissism and religion mix.
Trolls are narcs and psychopaths.
The positive thinking nazi’s inspirational poster.
The narcissistic abuse survival kit.
Sounds like my kind of man. *eyeroll*
Oh sweet Jesus, there seem to be at least a million narcissist memes on Google. I just gotta stop here mmkay?
More funny stuff about narcissists:
What She Says…What She Really Means (reposted from Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers)
A cheeky and practical guide to things narcissistic mothers say and what they’re REALLY saying.
The 12 Steps of Narcissists Anonymous
Strictly for the lulz.
Fleas or Narcs?
I’m not sure which one is worse!
Ten Great Things About Narcissists!
Yes, it’s true! 😉
The Narcautism Spectrum! (via Don Depresso)
Aspergers and Narcissism: they go together, like rama lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong.
“Have You Bonded With Your Narcissist Today?” (Instagram)
Wouldn’t it be nice if they were all required to wear a button warning you they have NPD?
New Books for Psychopathic Business Leaders! (from MAD)
A Field Guide to the Most Common Narcissist Subspecies
When a Narcissist Finally Opens Up to You
I also found a great page at Newsvine filled with jokes about narcs. Is it politically correct to joke about narcs? Who cares? They deserve to be laughed at. https://otterlover58.wordpress.com/2014/12/28/lets-laugh-at-the-narcs/
Not strictly about narcissists:
What Sign is Your Personality Disorder?
Aw, this was an extremely good post. Finding the time and actual effort to
create a superb article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and never seem to get anything done.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it! Some people have taken offense. (hence the disclaimer)
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I LIKED, LIKED, LIKED this post. Okay, I loved it.
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😀 It’s good to see you back around, and I’m happy you liked this post so much!
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great post! oh dearie me – the narcs must be so disappointed (!) they want us to submit to them, to fear them, to hate them even……but they will absolute hate us laughing at them 😀
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Awww, it will hurt their poor widdle feewings. Bring on the tiny violins.
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this is cool only for the well sense of humoured lol
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Thank you for the good laughs! I needed them and so will my BF enjoy them as well!
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I’m glad you enjoyed these!
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Judging by the disclaimer it seems you have successfully offended a NARC….. Good job
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Haha!
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I have a riddle (it’s not funny). Q. When does a Vampire become a Zombie? A. When a NPD gets OLD, (then dies alone). Funny, haha.
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I actually think it’s funny. Did you make that up?
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A true narc .would have included many SELFIES !!!
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this is beyond funny!
(≧∇≦)
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I’m glad you like it! (I think it’s time to share this to all my social media again).
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i love the one that says all the psychiatrists are jealous. 100% my mother, EVERYONE is jealous about her all the time it’s beyond lame.
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I like that one too!
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Thankyou for this! I recently got punched on the internet and had this weird situation of thinking it was my sister, or me 7 years ago, but an asshat, which I can be too.
I have been processing family stuff and I think I went looking for this problem, and the void showed me my scapegoat madness.
I had been wondering if I had aspbergers or adhd and noticed many overlapping symptoms with what I assumed was the social isolation aspect of that.
Your site really makes sense of it all, and the jokes really help sum it up.
Narc at 21: “You are an example of everything I’m afraid to become.”
Narc at 35: “I used to be like you, but now I’m better than you.”
Ive a lot of work to do. Thankyou for sharing all of yours.
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Yikes! My son said those exact words to me …when he was 21. He is 24 now. I don’t *think* he has NPD! I hope not! (I don’t think so).
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GREAT page! The saddest thing to me is that efforts of healthy self-esteem are sometimes stifled for fear of appearing narcissistic – so I especially liked the “if you get to step 2” one. My fav was author Trent’s dedications page however. I laughed out loud at that one.
If I ever do a post comparing and contrasting healty self-esteem and NPD, I may grab a few of these for my illustrations. (I always link to source whenever possible)
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
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Please feel free to grab anything you want, but if I have credited someone else just be sure to credit them too. I know you would. 🙂
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Thanks. NOW that I am thinking about that potential post, I can barely focus on what I meant to be doing, whatever THAT was. LOL 🙂 xx, mgh
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Folks, the solution to dealing with a NARC disordered individual is quite simple. You must make him/her fear you. Protection of their own survival is all they care about or understand. Turn the tables on him or her. Start repeatedly robo-calling or texting them. Act like they have literally crushed your heart and let them think that they have won the game. Do not ask them questions and do not look to them for answers to your pain because they will never give you an honest answer if they give you one at all. Get totally crazy on them and let them think that you are more psychic than they will ever cop to being. I know that this may seem unpalatable to good honest people, but these are the people upon whom they prey and they view us as weak, pathetic and worthy of their scorn and disgust despite their episodic and disingenuous periods of ‘love bombing’. Trust me on this. We are looking at our own survival here. If they had their way, they would take us for everything we had and then leave us lying in our own waste. Trust me because this is how they roll!!!
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I used to think this too, but I’m not sure fighting fire with fire ever really works. Better to grey-rock or go no contact.
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I agree. No contact has worked best for me. My mother and sister live and breathe for opportunities to ‘bring me down’. Fighting fire with fire with personalities such as these is DANGEROUS because their minds’ do not work like normal people. I have ‘stood up-to’ these women many times – and it has never been worth it. They HATE silence and it literally starves them……….to death in the end. Yay! Thank you for your blog! By the way, I tried ‘grey rock’ for a year or so – but I found it too painful…….she is my Mother for heaven’s sake…….sitting in front of her whilst she does her level best to get a reaction out of me ? decided it wasn’t worth it.
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It’s really, really hard to grey rock with a close relative, like your mother. Of course, with such a close relative, No Contact can be extra difficult too. But I agree, with narcissistic parents, who find ways to trigger you even in the most benign seeming conversations, I think NC is best too. Good luck!
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Put the fear of God into a Narcissist
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Oh these are hilarious. Thank you for giving me a New Years Eve Afternoon laugh.
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I rolled my eyes at your disclaimer. What DOESN’T offend people nowadays?
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A true NPD is like my ex who thinks that every time he leaves a group of people who say, “what an @$$”, they are giving him a compliment compliment about his derriere…
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