A lifetime of narcissistic abuse

Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer in a scene from the movie “Gaslight,” 1944.

Raised by a Narcissist (my story of psychopathic abuse–childhood through adolescence)

Finding Myself: a Hopeless Task if You Depend on Narcissists to do the Job for You.

A New Insight on Being the Only Child of a Narcissistic Mother

Sleeping with the Devil:  My Marriage to a Psychopath

My Son is Furry: Got a Problem with That?

Held Hostage: Living with the Enemy (Part One)

Seven More Years of NPD Hell.

Waking Up from the Nightmare

Why My Parents Disowned Me

How My Mother Became a Narcissist

Narcissistic Abuse Turned My Child into a Narcissist

Why Do I Feel so Guilty? /Followup: My Email Reply to my Father

Narcissists and Cleanliness

My Mother, the Exhibitionist

Forever Alone

Test Driving Narcissism: How I Almost Became a Narcissist

I Just Get so Tired of it…

My MN ex’s Weird Attitude to his Son

He Still Lives in My Dreams: The Story of My Abortion

Looking Death in the Face: I was Almost Murdered at Age 18

My Son’s Father Turned from a Loving Dad into a Monster.

Crybaby (being a victim of childhood bullying)

An Upsetting Memory

It’s All About Image: The Skewed Values of Narcissistic Families

Truth Teller

Cartoon Diaries (drawn by me in 1981 at age 22):
Adventures of “The Loser” (part one): https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/05/19/adventures-of-s-k-the-loser-cartoon-diary-of-myself-at-age-22/
Adventures of “The Loser” (part two): https://luckyottershaven.com/2015/05/19/adventures-of-s-k-the-loser-cartoon-diary-of-myself-at-age-22-two-of-two/

My Path to Christianity
For the story of my spiritual growth and how I came to find God and Christianity, please see the subheader Spiritual Journey.


2 Responses to A lifetime of narcissistic abuse

  1. Mee says:

    Just found your site and wanted to leave a comment.
    I have lived with a cluster B (cerebral narcissist/antisocial?) husband for more than 15 years, got away a few years ago. I was diagnosed with asperger after the divorce and have turrette syndrome as well (undiagnosed) I suspect touches of ADD and then off course a complex Post Traumatic Stress because of my ex. I have wondered if asperger people are more prone to get into a abusive relationship – not being able to read a lot of non-verbal signs and often more trusting of people. Have you any thoughts on this?
    On the other hand I also think that my asperger has helped me getting on with my life. I am extremely logical and stubborn (and intelligent) and have used a lot of time to understand what I went through. As soon as I understood what narcissism/antisocial is and what they do I severed all contact with my ex. (as much as possible that is, unfortunately I have children with him).

    Sorry I have to stay anonymous, as my ex. would try and take the children from me if he found out abut the asperger etc.


    • luckyotter says:

      First of all, I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. PTSD can complicate Aspergers symptoms because it can cause you to doubt yourself, feel insecure and scared all the time, and that can make the “social awkwardness” and shyness of Aspergers even worse. I’ve heard that Tourettes often occurs concurrently with Aspergers (I’m not sure why this is) but I can’t say too much about that.
      Have you actually been diagnosed with Aspergers? Because if not, a personality disorder caused by abuse (like Avoidant PD) can mimic Aspergers symptoms. Anyway, yes, I do think people with Aspergers are more prone to get into abusive relationships because we lack the social skills to be able to handle the other person’s manipulations (not that anyone really can!) and also because we seem like we can be taken advantage of easily because we don’t always seem like we’re “there.”
      I also think (and this is just my theory) that narcissist parents are more likely to have Aspergers children. Back in the 70s, there was a popular theory that autism/Aspergers was caused by having a “refrigerator mother” (a cold, unempathic mother) but that has been largely debunked in favor or Aspergers/autism being something a child is born with. But I’m not so sure, because so many victims of narcissisic abuse seem to also be Aspies. Either that, or there is some kind of genetic relationship between NPD and Aspergers, which is an interesting possibility. Certainly an Aspie child with a narcissistic parent is the worst parent/child combination possible, but it does seem to happen a lot. I really wish there would be more studies on this. I do not know if you came from such a family however.

      It’s good you got away from your disordered husband and that he does not have your children. I totally understand about wanting to remain anonymous. In fact, most of us do (I do not use my real name here).

      Yes, I also think Aspie traits can be beneficial. We are focused (very much so–even to the point of obsession!) and tend to be smart, like you said. I don’t even think of it as a disorder, just a variation in wiring from the NTs (neurotypicals). But we are so misunderstood.
      Good luck in your healing journey and congratulations on going No contact with your ex.


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