I feel like I’m about to snap.

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I’m not handing all the bad news well today, especially now that I have to worry about a major hurricane possibly hitting where my son lives next weekend.   All my C-PTSD and BPD symptom are triggered — dissociation, hypervigilance, obsessive monitoring of the weather/news in general, physical symptoms (fatigue, headache), snappishness, mood swings, isolation, feeling helpless, and intense anxiety are all symptoms that have returned and threaten to overwhelm me.

I recently quit therapy because I felt guilty about not wanting to talk about anything but the political situation, but dammit, it’s so triggering and I take it very personally, given my background of abuse.   So I might have to go back soon.

I’ve been busy on Twitter (I’m meeting a lot of fellow #resisters there and it’s how I get the most up to date news).  Today I just had to sound off.    It was just stream of conscienceness venting.   It feels good to get all this off my chest, even if no one was really paying attention.  (Read bottom to top).  

I chose my new Twitter user name because it makes me laugh and I need all the laughs I can get.   Gallows humor does help.

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6 thoughts on “I feel like I’m about to snap.”

  1. Its no wonder your are getting hit on somewhere near every trigger you’ve got. I don’t know if it helps to remember that our ratings addicted media throw out every trigger they can find to keep people hooked and on the edge of their seats, or so emotionally slapped around that they can’t respond any more even to change the channel, or, too well entertained to move. Any of those work for them and they do aim for folks to get lost in the details and not see the big picture. Limiting exposure might help.

    I do like the Twitter handle. If I ever surrender to the Twitter Borg I’ll check out your feed.

    Liked by 4 people

    • I do think the media does deliberately try to “milk” our fears for ratings. They are a double edged sword. They keep us informed (if it’s a reliable source of news, that is) but they also tend to emphasize the stuff that terrifies or depresses us the most — because that shit sells. Good news generally doesn’t.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I was just placed in twitter jail….it seems i am not allowed to tell the POTUS that he is a misogynistic whacko with the brain capacity of a slug. I wonder which word it was that got me jailed? lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have said all kinds of things like that to 45. Usually they throw you in Twitter Jail if you exceed a certain number of tweets in a day.
      Were you really active today? Or did he actually block you? I have yet to be blocked by him, but I know others have been.

      Like

  4. UGH. Been there dunit. I have family back there. They aren’t right on the coast thank the good Lord!! My niece was born right during Hugo- it tore thru mid S. Carolina at cat 4-5 warp speed. Her mom was in a hospital fortunately. My niece was born about 2a.m. I’ll put your son in my prayers. I know you’re worried. Dont blame you at all one iota bit. Stock up on water, batteries, etc. I’d always remind folk to have some kind of cell phone charger (charged fully). Even a small Generator, also transistor radios never hurt. Red Cross has a nice EM kit suggestion online. Includes a lot of stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

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