I have haters. I’m cool with that. As a person who was bullied a lot during my life I wasn’t always cool with it. I will never like being hated, but now I regard it as a hazard of the trade. If you blog, even if you blog about unicorns and rainbows, someone is going to hate you. I guess I’ve grown used to it. At one point I almost took my blog down because of the haters, but I’m so glad I didn’t. Continuing to write exactly what’s on my mind in spite of people sometimes disapproving of what I say or even hating me for it is good practice for worrying less about what people think of me overall. It just doesn’t matter.
Criticism isn’t the same as hate. I’ve had critical comments too, and some of them were perfectly justified (and where appropriate, I’ve apologized or admitted when I was wrong). Even where I had to defend my viewpoint and saw no need for apology or backpeddling, I realize people are going to disagree with you sometimes. They are entitled to their opinions and the right to express them. That doesn’t mean they’re bullies, trolls, or haters.
But some comments run into the trollish category. Comments become trollish when they become personal attacks or are based on lies. Here are some of gems I’ve run across during my two-year tenure as a blogger. All are lies, or at least exaggerations. But now such comments are actually funny to me because of how clueless they are.
Enjoy!
“Yeah, she has a fuckton of followers, but none of them are friends. She doesn’t have friends, she has fans. She’s just collecting fans for the supply. They will drop her like a hot potato when they realize how phony everything she says is.”
I don’t care about having fans. I’m very close to my blogging friends and consider them to be as real as real-life friends. I care about them very much and feel like they care about me. Maybe you’re just jealous because my blog is more popular than yours.
“I think she is being paid off by people like Sam Vaknin because she quotes him so much. I bet she is giving him some favors on the side.”
Now this is funny. Sam stumbled on my blog and commented here about 5 times shortly after I started this blog and that lasted for about a month before he blocked me. As far as the second thing, are you serious and do you realize how stupid you sound?
“Lucky Otter is a sociopath.”
Smear campaign much?
“She was never abused. She was probably the abuser. She just tells that story to get more fans.”
Bullshit. And the “fans” again.
“There’s something seriously fucked up about someone whose son is a gay furry. She must have been a terrible mother.”
I’m proud of my son. In spite of having broken people as parents, he knows exactly who he is and is a lovely, intelligent person with a ton of empathy for others. Do you even have children?
“I’ve seen photos of stuff in her house, and she’s not poor like she says. She’s got a house full of antiques and is always going on vacation.”
Those “antiques” are things I picked up at Goodwill and yard sales for about three to six dollars each. I probably make less than you do, my income being at the official poverty level. I suppose driving on the Parkway (which is two miles from my house) a few times a year and taking pictures is a “vacation.” Alrighty, then.
“Her blog is monetized. She’s only in it for the money.”
I had the opportunity to make a little pocket change from the ads, which comes to about $40 a month. But I’d be doing this even if I had to pay to do it. If I can earn some money from it, I don’t see why I shouldn’t.
“She plagiarized my post!”
That is a lie. I LINKED to your post and quoted from it. And I promptly removed the offending post after you lost your shit over it. Most people would have LIKED the extra views that link would have brought them.
God, I love my haters. They keep me entertained.
Jesus… That is why I am not on social media; except for this. Good for you!
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Gotta laugh at the shit haters say! 😀
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Like you, I grew up with that shit. My mom used to tell me that if their lives were SOOO boring, that they had to talk about mine– let them. My husband’s ex(whom I have NEVER fucking met), posted all kinds of lies; the venom and evilness was sickening. Plus; I guess I don’t have anything that important to say- you do.
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I grew up with it too and it’s gotten worse over time. Such comments are abusive, but they’re great examples of narcissistic abuse–gaslighting, projecting, and smear campaigning. It’s a good real life lesson in exactly the things I write about so in a way it has value.
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I know that what you write helps me. My dad is a narc. I think that my little brother is, too. I am an Empath; and was healing when I was pretty young. I believe that my mom was also an Empath/VSP. She did not know what it was, nor did I. She knew that I was like her, but she never had any guidance. How can one kid be an empath, and the other a narc?
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I know how that can happen, because it’s very common in dysfunctional families. In your case, it was even more likely because you had one empath parent and one narc parent. Think about it — narcissists and empaths aren’t as far apart as it seems. Often both came from abusive families, and both are highly sensitive, except the empath hasn’t shut off emotions they find too overwhelming. Both are also addicted to people — the narc relies on people (often empaths) for supply (validation), and the empath tends to be codependent (often to a narc). They have a sort of symbiotic relationship, except it tends to suck the empath dry after awhile.
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Wow, yep. When I was young, my mom gave me the book, “Codependent No More”. A therapist gave me the same book. I must admit that I did not read them, either time. I think I may still have the one my therapist gave me. Right now, I am more interested in strengthening my gifts. I want to be a healer. 🙂 I have had many, many years of therapy for my traumas, and want to concentrate on the light now.
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I wish you luck! I think being traumatized actually makes people stronger if they survived it. It gives you a depth and understanding that people who didn’t have it so tough never had.
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This is such an entertaining post. Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing this. Made me smile. Have a lovely weekend.
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You too! I’m glad this post made you smile. I’m also glad these kinds of remarks don’t bother me that much anymore. They used to — a lot!
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Well, i understand you. You’re human. Anyway, different folks different strokes. Keep smiling. Thanks again.
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You’re welcome!
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OMG! What is wrong with people?? It’s your blog for gods sake. You can say whatever you want. Talk about people who need to get a life. I enjoy your posts. It’s your personal feelings, why people feel the need to be so critical is beyond pathetic.
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Exactly! It’s very pathetic. I just have to shake my head.
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Where do their comments show up? I’ve only gotten a few negative comments, I just don’t approve them. Maybe I have a whole bunch I haven’t even seen! LOL!
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They weren’t here. These were things written on other blogs. I’ve had troll comments made directly to me too, but I usually delete those right away. Fortunately though, I haven’t had too many of those.
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Geez, what a bunch of losers!
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Oh, yes.
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WOW. Some of those made me angry for you. People can be so cruel!! I’m glad you were able to brush them off. 🙂
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I do not understand the logic in the first one. Surely, if you have a lot of fans who AREN’T your friends, that means you have a broad outreach? *scratches head*
That’s what gets me about trolls. They often say things that wouldn’t do you any good to get worked up over because they don’t make any sense.
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Exactly. That was how I felt about that remark too. Nonsensical.
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What is with the judgments on making money on blogging and/or making videos??? Sheesh! There is nothing wrong with making money on what you know. It’s such a ridiculous thing on the internet that people seem to get their panties all in a bunch about.
If I ever get my shit together enough to blog consistently and have the op to earn money on it to the point I don’t have to do anything else (which is every bloggers drea as far as I know) then I’m gonna do it.
Haha…triggered much. :blush:
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*dream
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Agreed. You’d think they’d be snootier about it if you *weren’t* making money. *throws hands helplessly into the air*
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I agree, it is silly to get so bent out of shape over bloggers who want to earn a buck or two. Or even a lot of bucks!
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Trolls are a ‘semi-anonymous’ species of social predator -scratching for increased rank in that accursed zero-sum game of power that many people seem pathologically bent upon playing.
Makes me somewhat glad I cannot play it – as otherwise, I probably would.
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