12 reasons why I don’t like autumn.

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ugly_autumn
In my neck of the woods, this is what Autumn looks like.

Yesterday was the first cool-ish day we’ve had since May.   While the lower temperature felt nice, I also noticed for the first time that some of the trees are beginning to change colors.  It was also overcast and gloomy, and I realized that my SAD symptoms have kicked in full bore.   I just felt like crawling into bed to escape from the sadness I felt.   After winter, fall is my least favorite season.   Here are 12 reasons why I hate it.

1.  Around here, the “changing colors” just means the trees change from green to brown to bare.  A few turn this unattractive shade of deep maroon or this dirty looking yellow, but unless you go up to the Parkway, we really don’t get the brilliant fall colors you see in places further north, like Vermont.   To me, fall is not only not pretty,  it’s actually sort of ugly.  The traditional “fall colors”–gold, brown, red and orange–look like ’70s colors to me–I much prefer the ’80s colors of spring.

2.  Everyone crowing about how great fall is.   Shut up.  Please.  Just shut up.

3.  I have to deal with the school traffic again every morning on my way to work.

4. “Pumpkin spice” everything.  Makes me want to puke in my mouth.   Take your damn pumpkin scents and flavors (newsflash–pumpkin tastes like nothing) and GTFO.

5.  It gets dark early and it’s dark when you get up for work, and every day is darker and shorter than the last.

6.  The gloom.  November and December are the worst, but October is guilty too.  Gray, overcast, dark, rainy, and depressing doesn’t bode well for my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). And in late fall, around here it rains.   And rains. And rains.  And it’s not the life-giving, energizing sudden showers of spring, it’s all-day-and-all-night-long, cold, dismal, continuous drizzle that sometimes turns icy and makes you want to go hibernate until spring.

7.  All the “fall-foliage” seeking idiots who clog the roads on their way to the Parkway. Go to Vermont instead. The colors there are much nicer.

8.  Fake, over-commercialized holidays — in particular the extended Christmas season which seems to start earlier every year–which seem intended to bring some “cheer” to the gloomy last half of fall, but really just makes everyone a nervous wreck instead because of its unrealistic expectations of “family togetherness,” over the top commercialization, and extravagant gift-giving that no one can really afford.  Oh, and let’s not forget Thanksgiving, with its heavy, fatty, depressing food and its gross PUMPKIN pie.  And these days, Thanksgiving is eclipsed by Black Friday anyway, which now starts on Thanksgiving, so all the turkey stuffed lemmings go rushing out to stand on line all night in the rainy cold for a new flat screen TV.  Halloween is okay, but is overrated as f.

9. I could give a rat’s arse about football, and that’s all anyone talks about besides their holiday plans.

10.  Fall means winter is coming and winter is torture to me on every level.

11. Let’s stop denying it.  In the fall, everything’s dying.  Those “brilliant colors” you see for about two weeks?  It’s just the leaves  attempting to get your attention one last time before they drop dead and turn into worm-food, that’s all.

12.  Once you get into the months ending in -ber, you know one more year is in its death throes and for some reason that’s really depressing.

Fall2008
A sad little twig with its wilting, dying leaves just makes me want to cry.

*****

Further reading:

My Seasonal Affective Disorder makes me want to hibernate until spring.

40 thoughts on “12 reasons why I don’t like autumn.”

  1. I’m sorry you’re feeling sad, I really hate that nasty feeling. This year I am determined not to get SAD. Going to hitchhike to the equator if I have to!

    As I was reading this post, I thought of one of my favorite music videos. I love this song so much, I told my grandkids I want it played at my funeral… hopefully many years from now. Unfortunately, I don’t play it as often as I would like anymore, because there came a point where my dear hubby was threatening to strangle the singer, lol. But apparently I am not the only goofy person who likes this video a lot, it’s had over 880 million views!!

    Bring me down, can’t nothing
    Bring me down, my level’s too high
    Bring me down, can’t nothing
    Bring me down, I said… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

      • My day is going better than it was, thanks to the endorphin rush I just got from dancing to this video in the kitchen. The Pit Bull I rescued off the street in July is pure love, she and the little poodle we found on the highway a couple of years ago sleep snuggled up next to me, which helps me not have PTSD nightmares. But Baby the Pit likes to wake me just before sunrise, begging for her walk… And last night I didn’t get to bed until something like 2:30 in the morning. I was feeling really tired and grumpy about everything, when I read your post, felt myself start to go down… and then I said to myself, “No way, the joy of the Lord is my strength, I will count my blessings instead of feeling sad!!”

        Then I played and danced to the video and now this old/young great-grandma is ready to happily walk both dogs to the park!

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Lucky this piece is just great. You had me relating to it all and chuckling away with your sarcasm. I totally agree with all that you said, the way I intend to cope with it this year, is to be like an observer of nature, think of every season as a creation of God. And without yucky Falls and Winters, we wouldn’t appreciate Spring and Summer as much. But yes, great piece here!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Last year, I actually did a “Progression of fall” photographic series, in which every week I posted some photographs of things I found beautiful (I did the same thing for spring). I admit doing this for spring was a LOT easier and more fun for me, but I did find some things to appreciate. That being said, no matter how hard I try, I’m never going to be a fall or winter person.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, at the risk of sounding like the Devil’s advocate, Autumn is harvest season. Around here, hot weather persists well into autumn. But winter is dull. I miss the snow. Sure, it can be inconvenient but it’s so pretty right after a snow fall. I think you’re missing Florida. Sounds like a golden vacation for you.

    I used to love Halloween with all the costumes. Love Thanksgiving. Hate Black Friday. I never go shopping then. The Pagans used to make the most out of the seasons, with recognition of the two solstices. But Christians have managed to capture a lot of it with Christmas, a bright light in the middle of darkest Winter.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Eh, I suppose you’re right. I’m just never going to like it. I liked Florida, but hell, I go through this every year. Having SAD doesn’t help one bit.

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  4. I wish we could trade! I love fall and winter – you can have all my dreadful brain-melting summers, and spring makes my nose run and my eyes red. Different strokes. Sorry to read that SAD is descending already. I’m sure you’ve already tried full color spectrum lights – but I’ve been told that a half hour outside looking straight at the sun (eyelids closed, of course) helps some.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I agree. Wholeheartedly. I’m a Summer person from my head to my toes and, although there will be some pretty leaf colours where I live, to me the change is laced with foreboding. In another month or so I will be hunkering down and ignoring everything until Spring. I consider late Fall and Winter to be none of my business..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pumpkin spice everything is the worst and will one day be found a symptom of some mental healthy condition. Like how selfies are a recognized red flag for narcissism and crippling insecurity. 😛 pumpkin spice lattes will be a red flag for bad taste buds and poor impulse control.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Bwahaha! 😆
      The P-S obsession has gotten out of control. Type “pumpkin spice products” in your Google browser and pull up Images. You won’t believe some of the things you’ll see there. Think P-S lattes, M&Ms, and margarine are bad? I kid you not: Pumpkin spice scented condoms, tampons, yeast infection cream, and toilet paper and pumpkin spice flavored Toothpaste.
      It’s a real sickness! It scares me!

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  8. What a delightful post, hilarious and the comments were so entertaining I had a great laugh. And now a confession. I feel about summer what you feel about fall. I think I was such a sad child and experienced so much bullying in school that school was torture, but summer left me at home which was worse torture. Thus school was preferable torture than home torture so fall meant a new beginning and reprieve. Fall meant snow would cover the world with white and I’d be ensconced in a parka (from Alaska originally) and hats and gloves scarves over my face making me invisible. I felt safer with layers of clothes on and particular safe on ice skates circling round and round on the frozen ice of our neighborhood. Thus, winter felt wonderfully safe in so many ways.
    The fall then was glorious, the air delicious, My heart always crashed to the ground in summer. The heat, the lack of coat, and how vulnerable and visible you are overwhelmed me. Summer is something I endure with clenched teeth and agony about the heat. Relentless sunny days are so in-congruent to my internal state that I find it jarring. I’m one of the few people that wake up to a sunny day and say “Oh Lord, help me get through this, let it rain soon, help me endure summer”

    My experience is the opposite of most people making me feel lonely in it too. However, my experience with real suffering in summer helps me understand a daughter that feels the same way about fall and winter that you feel. She has SAD too and its real suffering for her while I’m happily singing about how wonderful the gray skies and rain are!

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  9. Pingback: September Song | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

  10. Hm, I love Thanksgiving dinner and all the fatty food. And they sure go out of their way around here to decorate for Halloween. One house used to have a gigantic spider covering it, made out of black trash bags. I have a picture of it, because it made it into the newspaper. 😀 Hubby was born on Halloween, and we’re both a bit Gothy, so we like the holiday. 🙂 Time to set up my laptop for the Addams Family/Halloween desktop slide show….

    But yeah, fall means everything is DYING. And darkness in the middle of the afternoon. And I hate football. All the noise of the whistles gives me a headache, and the games go on FOREVER. (I thought they literally did go on forever, when I was little. My mom told me a Disney special would come on after a game, and I cried because football games go on till the end of time!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • That spider sounds AWESOME! I want to see it.

      I actually like Thanksgiving food, it’s pretty yummy. 😛
      But it’s still fattening and depressing. Stuffing is my favorite part of the meal, usually.

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  11. Good thing I read the comments as I thought you were TOTALLY SERIOUS w/this list! So much so, in fact, that I was going to suggest you move to the other side of the Smokies, over here in East TN. Read this post to see how I’ve come to like the area where I now live, with some effort.
    https://hbsuefred.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/knoxville-and-me-a-hate-love-relationship/
    You would still be subject to football, some of which I still enjoy, and of course SAD, but would probably avoid tourist traffic, at least. I, for one, am also a major fan of pumpkin. So much so, in fact, that I tend to overlook or try to ignore any added spice, or at least most of it. I’ve also become pretty good at overlooking and/or ignoring WAY TOO EARLY HOLIDAY DECORATIONS! My kids are adults who don’t live nearby, so pretty much and day I get to spend with them is a holiday for me. So much so, in fact, that we have started scheduling these reunions outside of everybody else’s holidays, to avoid the rush and the stress of holiday crowds, not to mention higher air fares and often horrendous travelling weather.

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  12. May be I escape all this, because… Well, because of two reasons:

    One, in Tamil Nadu in India, We have Only Three seasons: Hot, Hotter and Hottest!

    And Second, I stay in my room 23×7, with exceptions, and who can talk about that? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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