The day you realize it never was you.

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“First you start to feel like maybe there never was anything wrong with you.  That perhaps the people you called family were just horrible human beings that foisted their nefarious motives on you.  They lied about you, about your worthlessness and your unlovableness and your hopeless loser life.  Lies!”

—Katie, Dreams of a Better World Blog

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I read somewhere (sorry, I can’t remember the source) that the “truth teller” who usually becomes the scapegoat of a narcissistic family, is actually the most mentally healthy family member, even if the family has everyone convinced that person is the craziest one.

 

16 thoughts on “The day you realize it never was you.”

  1. I believe you probably read that, about the truth teller usually being “the most mentally healthy family member, even if the family has everyone convinced that person is the craziest one,” in Scott Pack’s book, People of the Lie. I have read that book and I believe Dr. Peck made that statement.

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  2. Thank you for sharing that thought and for your kind support of my blog!

    Louis Wynne PhD said that as well about the truth tellers in : Healing the Hurting Soul: A survival manual for the black sheep in every family.” He said of his 30 years as the administrator of a mental hospital he became convinced that the healthiest people in the family were the ones that got put away. He added there are no crazy people just crazy making environments a pretty controversial thing to say for a psychologist. I highly recommend his book only 2.99 on amazon.

    J Scott Peck is worth reading too.

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    • I’ll order that one, for sure. I forgot which psychologist said this, but one said that “insanity is the only sane way to react to an insane world” or something to that effect. It’s true too.

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      • I also wanted to tell you, Katie, that People of the Lie was the first book about narcissitic abuse I ever read (even though he didn’t call it that and there was no name yet for it). Ironically enough, it was my dad who sent me that book, and told me it was about my ex, which it was,. He also said that before he read it, he didn’t believe in the devil but that book convinced him. My eyes were opened and I could never look at my ex the same way again. It would be a few more years before I could leave, but the wheels began to turn. The funny thing was, I also recognized my mother in this book. When I told my father that, he said, no way–your mother isn’t evil. His intentions were good, and I think God led him to send me that book, but I don’t think he ever fell out of love with my mother (even though they were divorced) and continued to idealize her until his death this June. I’m praying for her deliverance. A few weird things have happened related to this, but I’ll have to post them on Down the Rabbit Hole and not this blog.

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    • Thanks, Persia. If you don’t follow Katie’s blog already, you should! She has been like an angel to me and her words are always such a huge comfort. She’s been through the ringer (like most of us) but she’s used that to grow into this amazing, empathic, spiritual person who inspires so many.

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