Beast transforming; Belle watches in astonishment/credit Disney Pictures 1991
I’m following a blog where the writer, who is a diagnosed NPD in therapy (I am not going to link the blog here), has been showing signs recently of his hard shell beginning to crack and unfamiliar emotions starting to break through his formerly impenetrable emotional wall.
It’s been happening over time, and in fits and starts. His last post expresses quite a lot of vulnerability and sadness for his lost self and the hurt he felt as a child. It made me feel like weeping, but in the good kind of way. If this blogger is being candid and honest, then his unfolding is a beautiful, painful, magnificent thing to behold.
But earlier posts by this writer have described the way he feeds off the emotional reactions of other people (the way all narcissists do). Whether the reactions are positive or negative don’t really matter; it’s the fact they are emotional reactions to him that feed him. The blogger also happens to be an extremely skilled writer. I could easily believe he may be merely manipulating his readers (many who are empaths) into falling for the epic drama of the Big Bad Narc transforming into a man with the ability to love and feel like a normal person. It’s the stuff of Hollywood. It would make a great 10-Kleenex movie. He no doubt knows the effect such a thing would have; he could use his skill with the English language to write breathtaking, transformative passages and become the star of his own tear-jerker movie.
I must have watched the ending of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast at least 20 times, and it still has the ability to make me sob like a little child. It’s basically the story of a narcissist being healed by the love of another person, all dressed up in period costume and fairy dust and magic, and rendered suitable for children. I can’t get enough of that damn sappy ending. But I think that, for me, it’s symbolic of something much deeper going on.
Maybe I’m being (in Sam Vaknin’s words) a malignant optimist, or maybe I’m just a gullible fool, but I really, really want to believe the blogger isn’t manipulating his readers for narcissistic supply. I want to believe what he says he’s feeling is actually real. Nothing would move my soul more than witnessing a narcissist actually healing from his disorder. I’m a starry-eyed romantic INFJ and love this kind of stuff. I need to see that movie and believe it’s true. Maybe my obsession with narcissists being able to open their hearts again has to do with having narcissistic parents and having wanted so much to see it happen for them, but alas, my dreams were dashed.
Is there a way to know if this writer is telling the truth or just putting on an elaborate show for his readers in order to garner supply for himself? I suppose this is a rhetorical question since obviously no one can answer that. Only the narcissist himself can answer that, but there’s no way to know if his answer would be the truth or not.
****
Further Reading:
That writer sounds like Nio in the narcissistic matrix. i wonder if he can unplug other narcissists with his blog.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nio? Who’s that? I don’t think any narcs read his blog or if they do they don’t comment. It seems to be mostly empaths.
LikeLike
It’s the main character from the trilogy Matrix. oh it’s written Neo, sorry typo (⊃д⊂)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh! Of course. Yes I guess there is some similarity. You have read this blog because you have commented on it, I just don’t want to link it here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
no need to, yes i am following him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting stuff. I just don’t know whether he’s for real or not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
i think he is real, since the entire blog is designed for him to get supply and there is no actual dialogue or feedback with the readers. i tested that by making a slightly negative comment that never appeared.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t mean he isn’t real, just that I wasn’t sure if these emotions he is having are real. I want to believe they are though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
all of their emotions are fleeting regardless. They are like styrofoam, take much space with their temper tandrums, but there is no substance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Styrofoam. lol! You are funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ヽ(๏∀◕ )ノ crazy due to sugar withdrawal symptoms
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once I referred to narcissists as balloons, full of air and easily popped into uselessness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A narcissistic matrix blog ??
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, she’s talking about the character Neo in the movie The Matrix
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saw it yes.. I thought there way such a blog 😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hhh your doing cyberbulling against NPD
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nah, not really. I poke a lot of fun at them and am critical of them but am not a hater. Unless they are unrepentant and malignant. I just hate the things they do but I’m all too aware these are mentally ill people.
Hell, us borderlines in full-on symptomatic mode can be as bad.
LikeLike
I know you are joking 😂😂😂. I dont hate neither
But there are the ultra highly manipulative Ns the ones who manipulate and get people to do for them. These ones can be really dangerous and I dont mean dangerous to kill but they are just per se 100% a mask. These ones… Better be carreful
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are 100% right about that.
LikeLiked by 1 person