Where I stand on “positive thinking.”

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positive_thinking_problem
Positive thinking taken to extremes is deluded thinking.

I’ve seen several blog posts about the problem of forced positive thinking lately, and since this is an issue that has concerned me for a long time, I thought I’d add my own take on it.

In recent years, there’s been an increased societal pressure toward “positive thinking.” I think two factors have led to this trend–the New Age philosophy that we can “be as gods ourselves,” and the continued glorification of the Reaganistic optimism of the 1980s. The signs are everywhere, in self-help and pop psychology books, in countless popular slogans and memes that appear on bumper stickers and coffee mugs, on motivational posters, on calendars, on the political campaign trail, and all over social media such as Facebook. The forced positive thinking brigade has even infiltrated churches. Motivational speakers like Tony Robbins and preachers of the “Prosperity Gospel” like Joel Osteen have gotten rich by telling us that if we only think positive thoughts, our entire lives will change for the better. They tell us if we let go of negative thought patterns, we can become happy, successful, healthy, and wealthy.

This is all fine and good, and personally I see nothing wrong with positive thinking for its own sake. Even if the outer trappings of your life rival those of someone living in a Third World nation, it’s certainly better for you if you can scare up a little optimism and hopefulness, and it’s definitely bad for you to dwell in hopelessness, depression and negativity. At the very least, seeing the glass as always half-full will make you more accepting of your sorry lot and therefore happier. That said, it’s incredibly difficult to see the glass as half full when there is barely a drop in your glass. That would be deluded, not positive, thinking.

For all its advantages to our psychological well-being, there’s a dark side to the positive thinking movement too, which goes hand in hand with the current societal glorification of narcissism and the nasty belief that selfishness and lack of compassion are virtues. While telling people that thinking positive thoughts is not a bad thing itself (because there is truth to the idea that negativity tends to draw in negative things–I have seen this dynamic for myself), the positive thinking movement has been taken to disturbing extremes. It’s led to victim-blaming and an overall lack of empathy for the less fortunate. The poor are blamed for their own poverty, regardless of the circumstances that might have led to it or keep them trapped there. They are told they are “not positive enough” or “made bad choices.” Even worse, some churches of the “prosperity gospel” ilk tell them they must have some moral failing or God would be rewarding them with material blessings. They are made to feel shame and guilt for their sorry financial condition. The chronically ill and disabled are likewise blamed for “not taking care of themselves” or “choosing bad habits.” It’s easy enough for someone who has never had to struggle with poverty or serious illness to thumb their noses at those who have and tell them it’s all their own fault.

broken_society

Is this the way Jesus would have acted? No, of course it isn’t. In fact, most of Jesus’ followers and disciples were the most financially and physically vulnerable members of his society. Jesus himself was humble carpenter and certainly not rich. He didn’t condemn these unfortunates or shame them for failing to be positive enough, or making the “wrong choices.” In fact, he seemed to love these vulnerable people most of all. Whatever happened to the “social gospel” of the late 19th and early 20th century? Oh, that’s right–it became “communism.” Somewhere along the way, compassion for the less fortunate and the culture of charity got twisted into “weakness” and “enabling.” The enormous popularity of Ayn Rand, who believed the greatest human evil was altruism, is disturbing, especially since her philosophy of “objectivism” has infected the minds of powerful politicians of a certain political persuasion, including many “Christians.”

While I don’t subscribe to some Christian fundamentalists’ idea that Satan is behind all this worship of greed and self-love and the denigration and victim-blaming of the less fortunate, I do think it’s a very destructive turn in the way our culture thinks, and it’s psychopathic in nature. Lately I’ve been seeing more blog articles criticizing this trend, and that seems like a good sign that at least a few people (usually victims of narcissistic abuse themselves) are finally realizing our society has become woefully empathy-deprived. Hopefully their message can break out of the blogosphere it’s currently confined to and begin to touch the hearts of The Powers That Be who are not yet completely brainwashed by the Cult of John Galt.

It’s absolutely fine (and desirable) to be a positive thinker, because positive thinking does tend to have its rewards, but blaming the misfortunes of others on their negative thinking or worse, their moral failings is just a form of societal gaslighting and is utterly evil itself. It’s also rife with hypocrisy– the Positive Thinking Powers That Be denigrate the emotions of guilt and shame for themselves, but they make sure those who haven’t been blessed the way they have feel plenty of guilt and shame for not having been “enough.” They never stop to think how impossible it is for someone who is struggling every day just to have enough to eat or with severe pain or illness to think in a positive way. It’s much easier for the already privileged and healthy to be able to say “life is good” and mean it. The well heeled Positive Thinking bots never stop to think of this–or they just don’t care, which is most likely the case, because those who haven’t been “blessed” with wealth or good health MUST have done something wrong to deserve it.

Any society that is empathy-starved is eventually going to self destruct.

For further reading, check out this article from The New York Times and also this one about empathy being a choice.

18 thoughts on “Where I stand on “positive thinking.””

  1. Social Darwinism has been the state of many pagan religions for centuries, now we see Christians embrace this here in the states with a vengence. Sometimes it almost feels like a replacement for the ancient act of human sacrifice. I always wondered what purpose it served a dysfunctional family to target one member, stalk them , harass them and seemingly want to drive that person to suicide. In a normal situation , if you dispise someone, you simply want them to go away. Not so with many triangulated families.

    In th old days this ritual of gas lighting, mental torture, and slander would be dispensed with and the target would simply be murdered.

    All demonic based religions require blood sacrifice. Makes me wonder what will become of our culture as we keep sliding deeper and deeper into this energy of violence. ( I’m in a bad mood) 😒

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    • I don’t even want to think about where we might be headed if this horrible mindset doesn’t stop. I’m sorry your in a bad mood (hugs).

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      • I’m checking my doors every five minutes tonight. Thinking about leaving Texas. Enough is enough. (Hugs back) Colorado,,,,yeah that’s the ticket.

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  4. Thank you so much for this post. You have spoken my heart, & my experience since I’ve become disabled. It appears my disability makes me less than human, with no dignity or rights. Though I’ve tried to better myself, there is no real help. For everything I try, more is designed taken away from me. The system is to keep you in poverty. I guess that way they will always have someone to blame, instead of looking at their own faults.

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    • Naomi, I’m sorry you have become disabled. It’s true, our society and many people treat the disabled with no respect or dignity, and it’s so unfair and wrong. But there are many people who can see the lack of compassion in society today and are outraged about it. I think things will change eventually, but it may take a long time. You are going to have to be very brave, but I’m sure you already know that.

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  5. In the UK, our present Conservative government has been busy introducing this ‘mindful’ positivity into its social security system, up to and including the severely ill and disabled. We are having the ideology of this government’s newly privatised ‘nudge unit’, slid into every aspect of the lives of the working-poor and above. It has recently appointed the firm, Start Smiling Again, which is to be trailed in some Job Centres and aimed at any of us with mental health problems that hinder our being employed. It’s run by one David Rahman, who calls himself a Coach & Blueprint Therapist and whose credentials as a mental health professional are hardly credible. We will, in effect, be told to think our way out of illness and unemployment. Now I’m already of a paranoid disposition, imagine then when I get called in for a ‘chat’ with this lot. That the whole system is based on this ‘positive’ thinking regime which is used as a cover for what is essentially an economic problem no one wants to address – that’s what’s really scary. It’s difficult not to begin formulating conspiracy theories.

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    • It is scary because to those of us who aren’t drinking the Kool-Aid, we see it for what it is–a way to cover up a societal lack of empathy and refusal/inability to accept any responsibility toward anyone but yourself. I’m not saying positive thinking isn’t a good thing–of course it is–but using it to shame people or refuse to help the way you have described is just callous and evil in my book. It’s terrible this attitude has been infecting other countries like yours recently.

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      • Thank you for your words Lucy, they are appreciated. I agree with what you say whole-heartedly. Positive thinking definitely has its place and it is effective in that place. What we’re seeing here, though, is its mis-use for political and idealogical reasons. It places those subjected to it in a no-win situation and can be potentially dangerous. We are seeing organisations and campaigners gathering evidence that the changes made in the last decade of how our social security recipients are treated are resulting in earlier (and preventable) deaths, not just through the psychological pressure, but even through basic needs, such as having enough food. We are powerless to resist it and many of us wonder if there’s ever going to be a chance of becoming ‘well’ again. We’re left feeling it’s all our own fault because we simply refuse to change our attitudes. Even when you do it all, follow the rules, because you actually want to be well and have a job and not be ill, nothing actually changes. You’re still ill, still unemployable and still the only one to blame. If it weren’t for people like you, Lucy, who try to shine a light into dark, dark, corners, it would be an awfully isolated and terrifying bewildering fight for survival. So, I for one, thank you very much for your blog and your gift of compassion. Long may you continue. ❤

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