15 insane things I’ve been accused of.

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I’m no longer too upset about the uprising against me and this blog by several ACON bloggers last week. In fact, now I’m finding some of their half baked accusations funny. Here are some of the more outrageous ones. I think there’s entertainment value here because they are based on nothing. Its as if they were just pulled out of the air to “prove” how evil and ignorant I am.

1. I am a narc hugger.

2. I care more about the narcs than about abuse victims.

Response to #1 and #2. If you have a child who may be a narcissist (as I do), you are going to want desperately to believe there might be a cure. However, I don’t think malignant narcissists can be cured. I’ve already stated my case on this matter repeatedly (neither of these statements are true), so that is all I’m going to say about this.

3. I am a paid shill of Sam Vaknin and probably give him BJs on the side too.

4. Sam Vaknin brainwashed me to feel pity for narcs.

Response to #3: I have to admit I almost fell on the floor laughing reading this. I have never met the man. I was a big admirer for awhile (I still think his work has validity but is flawed), but there was never anything other than the occasional quick email and they were very impersonal at that. I was never paid or given any other form of compensation to use his material and as for the second thing: um, no. He’s a married man and being that he lives in Macedonia and I live in North Carolina, USA, would make that a little difficult anyway.

As for #4, have you actually read his material? Vaknin does not pity narcs. He is very pessimistic about the possibility of a cure. He does write about his own experiences as a child and I suppose those could make you feel sorry for him, but if anything, he is very anti-narc, even though he readily admits he is one.

5. I am a narcissist and a sociopath.

6. I am brainwashing others to join my “cult”.

Okay, now these are funny, especially the “sociopath” and “cult” accusations. They don’t deserve a response.

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7. I’m the only ACON blogger who ever suggested some narcissists can be treated successfully. 

The only one?  really?  I highly doubt it.

8. My site gives people computer viruses because of all the pop up ads.

I certainly hope not. I don’t think this is true though. I am part of WordPress’ WordAds program so I can possibly make some income from this site. Making money is certainly not my primary motive and never has been. I’ve made a total of about $70 since January, so I’m hardly getting rich off this blog. Would be nice if I could, but that hasn’t happened.

9. I deliberately try to confuse people so they won’t know about my “agenda.”  

What the hell does this even mean? Now I’m confused.   What sort of “agenda” are you thinking I have?

10. I have no right to have an ACON blog because I have a Cluster B disorder (BPD).

Oh, really? BPD is often a result of having been a victim of narcissistic abuse. (For that matter, so is NPD.) Anyone who has been a victim of abuse has the right to have a blog about it, regardless of their mental disorders. However, this isn’t strictly an ACON blog and I do write about other things too.  Also, Borderlines aren’t Narcissists.   They don’t all lack empathy.  Go do your splitting to a log.

11. I can’t possibly be an Aspie. I’m using that to seem harmless.

I may not seem like an Aspie online, because the Internet is the way I communicate best with others. This is true of many Aspies. In real life, I am quite shy and awkward and have a lot of trouble reading social cues.  [EDIT:  Since I wrote this, I have found out I do not have Aspergers–Avoidant PD +BPD + INFJ type can mimic Aspergers–but at the time I was pretty sure I did so I wasn’t using it to seem “harmless”]

12. I am trying to be “cool” and “popular.”

Hardly. But why am I suspecting a little pathological envy with this remark?

13. I stole someone’s article.

I merely linked to the article in question, but since the person whose article I linked to hates me, that makes me a thief. Part of the objection was that I posted the link on the same day the article went up. Maybe that was bad etiquette (WordPress bloggers don’t mind this), but it was hardly stealing. (The link to the article has been removed.)

14. I was never a victim of abuse at all.

Bullshit. Read the links under “My Story” in the header.

15. People who comment on my blog are “too friendly.” ACON bloggers and victims should act more wary of people. Therefore I must have ulterior (dishonest) motives.

This is one of my favorites. What the hell is wrong with being open and welcoming? Am I supposed to just ignore comments or be nasty to people? Blogs like this one are sometimes the only places where you can find like minded people who you feel like you can trust. I understand some victims are wary of people even online, but that doesn’t automatically mean my motives or friendliness is dishonest.

50 thoughts on “15 insane things I’ve been accused of.”

  1. People are just plain stupid. There is nothing wrong with the suggestion that *some* narcs can be cured, and the fact you are suggesting it does not mean you are a “narc hugger” and that you care more about them than their victims.
    Do these people accusing you of all sorts even read your posts?! Because it doesn’t sound like it to me. If they DO read them, then they obviously don’t understand them and that’s their problem, not yours. Idiots!

    Liked by 3 people

      • Again, their problem – but anyone with a modicum of intelligence will see exactly what’s in them and NONE of the stuff you’re being accused of can be found in your writings.
        As for thinking there is hope for some narcissists, what’s wrong with that? I was the victim of a particularly virulent one whom I don’t think is ever going to change BUT does that mean I have to hate every single narc out there? That I don’t understand there are different “degrees” on the narc scale? That I can’t try to understand the condition and not feel sorry for them?
        I would have thought the fact I was willing to do that (as are you) made us intelligent, tolerant and caring human beings. Jeez

        Liked by 3 people

        • You know, I think the fact we have some empathy for low-mid spectrum narcs and hope for a cure kinda proves we are not narcs ourselves. Narcs can’t feel empathy. When you’ve read the sort of letters I have received from some narcissists who are in enormous pain because they hate their disorder and want to be cured, you just can’t not have empathy for them, unless you have no heart. I don’t think these letters and comments I’ve received are insincere either. I hate individual narcissists of course, but as a class of people with a disorder, I do feel rather bad for them. Most were abuse victims too. Sorry if that offends some.

          Liked by 2 people

  2. LOL.

    The thing about having 3 fingers pointing back at you when you point at someone has always bothered me. What about the THUMB? Huh? Can somebody please explain that to me? You’ve got 1 finger pointing at others… 3 fingers pointing back…. What About The THUMB???!!!

    🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I have gotten some accusations as well. One of the funniest ones was I put a virus on someone’s computer. Other accusations I have gotten were; I worked with the mods to get her banned, I am a sociopath, I am just a slow learner not learning disabled. I just have mental issues no autism, I usually lie, I am not genuine, I am a fake, I sound like a guy, I am just a guy jacking off online, I am a troll, I twist what someone wrote.

    Lot of aspies will get accused of not having it because people seem to think if you write too well or because they don’t like you or because you don’t fit their idea of it. Even if you do a blog, you will get accused of it too. I am sure even if you post your DX papers online where it says you have it, people will still say it’s fake or just a bogus diagnoses or that you used someone else’s papers posing them as your own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes to all of this. I’m sorry you had to put up with the “you can’t really have Aspergers because you write too well” accusations too. I think some people get Aspergers/autism mixed up with being cognitively challenged (the PC term for what used to be called mental retardation).

      Reality check–the Internet is Aspie heaven because many of us write extremely well. It’s face to face communication and socializing we have problems with. People just pull anything out of their asses to fit their own ignorant beliefs.

      Liked by 2 people

      • No I didn’t get that accusation because I wrote well, I think other people write better than me in their blogs, I got that accusation because they don’t like me and one thought I acted like an NT. Funny enough, I thought that person acted like an NT themselves and bullying isn’t an NT thing. I am not sure what he meant by me acting like one. But that person had said I was mildly retarded or slow and then he said he thinks I am normal and then he says he never thought I was genuine and then he says I am the most genuine people I know. Confusing isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh gawd, that person sounds like he has some mental problems of his own if he keeps contradicting himself like that. I’m sorry you had to put up with that shit. It sucks.
          Some people think I act like an NT online too, but that’s the medium where I can communicate more like a NT. If they saw me in real life, they would think I’m a different person. A lot of people in real life think I’m probably slow because I’m so quiet and when I do talk, I sometimes respond in inappropriate ways or seem as if I didn’t understand what was just said. (I have hearing problems as well, so that doesn’t help any). That’s why I usually keep my mouth shut irl. I don’t know what I’d do without the internet.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I used to have hearing problems as a baby but I had tubes put in before I turned two and again at age two because they fell out and and my hearing loss gave me a language delay and it made it harder for me to get diagnosed with an ASD in 6th grade. I hear medical history can make it tougher to get an ASD diagnoses especially if you were abused and have trauma due to overlaps and if you have any other medical conditions such as brain damage from birth. I think it would take a lot of sessions for a doctor to know. One psychiatrist told my husband he showed signs but said it would take her a lot of sessions for her to know for sure but she was only there to get information, not counsel him. My husband has brain damage from birth and I am glad she didn’t hand the label out like candy, I feel autism gets too easily diagnosed and doctors are too quick to diagnose it. Another unpopular opinion there I have and a unPC one.

            I am shy online now just like in real life because I am scared of offending someone or scaring them off. People just go silent on me which is why I am too shy to start talking to random people I like or if I enjoy their posts. I also fear rejections.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’m afraid of rejection too (all borderlines are–that’s why we’re borderlines), but I’m getting better. In the past I would have let the hate against me make me go silent–I might have even taken this blog down. But blogging and prayer has made my self esteem improve, and after a few days of feeling really hurt and diminished by all this, now I just don’t care and can even write a post calling out the accusations in a humorous way. I NEVER would have been able to do that even a year ago. I am not going to let haters silence me and neither should you. If people don’t like you, f**k em. They are the ones with a problem, not you. Just write what you feel and let the chips fall where they may. I’ve found that, on the whole, being completely honest and even stating an opinion that’s unpopular or un-PC has helped a lot and it always surprises me how many people actually agree with my un-PC opinions. Sure, some will hate, but they don’t matter.

              I know that feeling of people going silent on me too. I hate that. It happens a lot IRL because people think I’m so boring, annoying and dumb. If they read this blog they’d be surprised that I think deeply about things ALL THE TIME and am not dumb at all, though maybe sometimes I’m boring and annoying. LOL!
              My hearing problems have been with me most of my life. As a child, I suffered from bad ear infections, so I only have 10-20% hearing in my left ear. I’ve found that if I tell people in advance I don’t hear well and they should speak to me from my right side, then they have more patience for my inability to hear. People get so annoyed when I have to keep saying “what?” if they haven’t been informed of my hearing issues.

              Liked by 2 people

            • I don’t have BPD. I also had bad ear infections which was why I was deaf and no one would give my mother a referral so she had to do it all on her own. I wonder how I would have turned out if I had tubes put in a lot sooner before I lost my hearing.

              I think i am afraid of rejections because I have been rejected too much and now I am afraid of screwing up again socially and saying the wrong thing or coming off wrong. I even think I have social anxiety because I realize how much it has impact on me and I also don’t like confrontations so the thought of it also gives me anxiety which is why I couldn’t tell the guy at work I didn’t want to listen and I just want to play my game or read. I also think the anxiety makes it easier for me to not say things because the thought of saying it gives me anxiety while other aspies say how it drains them to not say it and it feels like a compulsion or a tic to say it, like OCD you know.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I can relate to this, LADM. Social anxiety goes hand in hand with Aspergers, because NT’s don’t understand the way we think or why we seem so quiet or awkward. I will say I think you express yourself here very well though.
              I find social interactions irl extremely draining and HATE informal social situations — there is just too much to process and I can’t process it. I leave those kind of situations feeling extremely tired and exhausted. NT’s love parties and informal gatherings, but I find them almost painful.

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            • I don’t get exhausted from social situations TBH, but I do want to run from them after awhile and have had enough of them but I don’t feel tired from it. It makes me think I must have been misdiagnosed because I don’t feel drained like other aspies do. I have thought SAD being part of AS because of our past goof ups and making people upset and being rejected. I can be around people and I am just there, not talking or doing anything except I could be playing my game. My husband and I don’t stay long because we aren’t sociable people where we like to sit around and talk and now that we have kids, we have an excuse to leave lol. As a kid I found social interactions hard only because I was forcing myself to be in them instead of under my own terms and I desperately wanted to be normal and I found their topics boring and I would be bored standing around. If I go to a party, I just sit alone even if it’s in the same room with other people and I do my own thing. What does LADM stand for?

              Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha! I have collected dozens of bizarre accusations myself, mostly on the internet, but some in real life. I’m sorry people do that, it can be unpleasant. Much of the time they are simply projecting, not unlike narcs try to do.

    Another way of saying watch those three fingers pointing back at you, is “what you speak over others, you speak over your own self.” When people falsely accuse you of something, it feels false because it isn’t “you” they’re accusing at all, it’s themselves.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. It’s bizarre how people will take time out of their day to insult another. Who has time for that?
    Is every Aspie benevolent? That doesn’t sound right…
    What kind of community would we have if there was no welcoming, no acceptance? No hope?
    I don’t know if brainwashing can be done online. Inevitably the phone rings or the power goes out, taking our attention elsewhere.
    If you’re running a cult, why haven’t you demanded all of our money, or at least all of our time and attention?
    I see actual Narcissists online and IRL and it’s never once occurred to me that I should inform them of that. Who would take the time to tell a stranger?
    Clearly you’re cooler and more popular than people who have time to be negative — Gee, I wonder why?!?
    Gah. Enjoy the rest of the weekend 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    • Yeah, the cult accusation is pretty laughable.
      I don’t understand why some people waste so much time bashing others instead of taking a look at themselves in the mirror.

      I hate all the negativity I see in the ACON community. I don’t like “positive thinking nazis” (you know, the type of people who blame the victim and say you are always responsible for your own reactions), but dwelling in hate, rage and negativity seems very destructive to me. I want to be happy, and dwelling in those things only leads to more misery.

      Enjoy your weekend too!

      Liked by 4 people

  7. but but but… I wanted to be an official minion!! lol , seriously though, I enjoy your honesty and openness, I have learned much about Narc’s and Acons from you , and I feel comfortable being able to ask a question without getting my head ripped off or accused of having ulterior motives , my only motives are #1… I like to learn about a great many things *incidentally I also learned about furries here * #2 I like and respect you as a person *even though I don’t know you at all* it’s your openness and honesty that tells me you are indeed a good person , #3 I admire the way you help others who have had the misfortune to run into a Narc , and the way you educate those of us who have not ( as far as I know ) had contact with them, also you have taught me Acons think and take what is said to them personally , so yes you do a lot more than just write a blog 🙂
    and no your word ads don’t have viruses , so no worries 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aw, thanks Butch. I like your blog too. It’s open and honest and sometimes very emotional. I like that. I also appreciate your courage in sticking up for me over at that blog (you know which one).

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh dear, I am sad you feel you must defend yourself. Your established following, doesn’t care. Who is anyone to judge anyone else any way. I wasn’t aware we all lived in glass houses? Additionally, people like to instill fear in others, words like “cult” and “virus”, scares ignorant people.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s a smear campaign but seems to have died off, thank goodness.
      I’m not even trying to justify or defend myself anymore, but am seeing the humor in these ridiculous accusations.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am glad you are able to see the humor in their words. When I first read your post I didn’t, I went back and read it a second time, I now see what your talking about. Sometimes, I forget it takes a moment for reality to set in, not reaction.

        NIBSIH 😊

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  9. I agree with a comment above: the fact that you have been able to heal and still feel compassion for those who suffer with NPD CLEARLY means you aren’t a narc yourself. None of those accusations make sense, each contradicting another. Lol. Wow. The Internet is a crazy dangerous wonderful place. Don’t let the negative people discourage you. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m not. And I agree about the Internet. I always thought of the Internet as sort of like being set loose in the middle of New York City at its craziest and most dangerous (in the 1970s and 1980s).

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  11. Keep it up. It takes a strong person to reveal their feelings and their findings, knowing that they’re right, even when others say they’re wrong. Stay strong…being right isn’t always the most popular thing to be!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. That person who accused you of stealing her article is seriously off balance. Linking to something written by someone else hardly constitutes theft. Normal people are flattered when someone enjoys reading something they’ve written enough that they want to share it with others.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. That is funny about Sam and the bjs. You know what else would be funny would be if you were actually Sam Vaknin in disguise, secretly writing as a victim of a narcissist. I am sure you’re not, but I would bet someone has done something like this. Just like people post totally misleading fake online dating profiles…

    See this is the benefit to having a less popular blog like my own… you don’t get in trouble with trolls! The only people I’ve gotten in any kind of “trouble” with are a couple of university professors who wanted to use my story in a book about BPD. They asked me to remove the parts about BPD lacking any validity or reliability, and having no genetic or biological cause. When I refused they were upset. Oh well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Um, well….I’ll go ahead and confess it. Yes, I am SV writing from a fabricated perspective of a female abuse victim. I’m a Sam V. sockpuppet! Yeah!

      HAHAHAHAHA! OMG, I am laughing so hard IRL my sides ache. You are too funny. Of course I’m not. But you know what? Some of the accusations are so deluded and crazy I bet that might be another suspicion about me! LOL!

      As far as those professors who got all butt-hurt because you wouldn’t let them use your story in their book, it sounds like they were narcs to me.

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      • Remember how Sam liked the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers? What he did is he has taken over the minds of the people who are trolling you. It’s not their fault – you are being attacked by a bunch of mind-controlled, low-life, bottom-feeding, filthy Sam Vaknin clones.

        Liked by 1 person

        • OMG, you better make sure you are well protected there, B. They are going to HATE you for that. These people REALLY hate SV, if anything even more than you. But I totally see what you’re getting at here, because they are ALL a lot more pessimistic about a cure than I am. Ironic, isn’t it? And yet they’re telling me I’m the clone…

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