The rest is just gravy.


If you are a sufferer of a mental illness or a survivor of malignant narcissists or other mentally ill people and decide to blog about your experience, you have to be very brave.
You have to be 110% honest at all times.
You can’t hold anything back. Ever. No matter what.

The only thing it might be okay to lie about is your real name. Using a pseudonym can make it much easier to be honest about your life, your true feelings, your own opinions.

Self consciousness and reservedness would never work on a blog like mine. It’s my diary and my therapy. Everything I would tell a therapist is here for the public. This is how I’ve chosen to conduct my healing.

To do so requires courage. You must not be afraid to admit when you’re afraid or lonely or vulnerable. Don’t think about the thousands of strangers who will read your words. Don’t let anything intimidate you or make you hesitate to be completely honest at all times.

Speak only your truth.
Speak only from your heart.
The rest is just gravy.

12 thoughts on “The rest is just gravy.

  1. I’ve made several of my posts private, and then un-“private”ed some of them. There are just some posts that make me feel very vulnerable and I have to ask myself whether or not it’s a good idea to keep them up there. It wasn’t a big deal when no one read my blog. Still not many people read my blog, but the # *is* growing and I’m sure it will continue to do so. How much do random strangers *really* need to know? Hmm…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Obviously there are some things I won’t talk about. No one needs to know when I go to the bathroom you know? LOL

      For awhile I was really scared when i wrote a post that made me seem very vulnerable, like the post just before this one about crying. I used to set the “private” button on posts like that, and some I even deleted. I unprivated one post last week and nothing bad happened. So now I have more courage.
      I didn’t hesitate tonight at all before putting up my last post.


  2. I applaud you, and other bloggers in similar situations, who open up their lives and minds to us, a bunch of strangers.
    But its therapy in itself, getting thoughts written down.
    I, for one, am glad you post 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I always worry about contradictions. That I would contradict myself. I recently wrote about my father, then looked at it, and thought to myself, “This is all over the place and full of holes”, and it was. But that is how my brain works regarding my father. And I published it anyway.
    And I worried about someone calling me on that, but they didn’t, and I think people knew what was going on. I have a hard time giving people credit for having good sense. They had good sense and I feel like I have to explain, and explain and explain. It’s hard.
    But I worry about other contradictions too. I’m just starting piecing myself together. I have to post soon about my ex-husband because so far my blog sounds like I left him because he had no money, but that wasn’t it.
    Thanks for this posting. I really needed to get that out. You put out the most perfect topics for me. Being honest is one thing, being able to make it coherent is another. Ok, I know I ramble on. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • When we write about the narcissists in our FOO or who we had relationships with, I’ve noticed too how hard it is to write coherently about them without the story sounding like it’s “full of holes.” There’s a reason for that. Narcissists keep you off balance and confused–THEY are full of holes! So how can you write about them in any kind of coherent way when they’re so utterly unpredictable and confusing?

      I had the same problems when writing about my “story”– sometimes it just seemed like so much WORK to write about my marriage and my FOO because nothing seemed to make any sense. I’d go back and reread them, edit the post about 874 times and it STILL sounded incoherent to me. Those are always the hardest posts for me to write.

      But it’s easier to write about it now from a distance of almost a year than it would have been had I tried to write about this stuff in the zombiefied state I was in at this time last year.

      Oh, and hon, I don’t think you sound like you wanted to leave your husband because he didn’t have money. I always worry about the same thing– because my MN ex had no money after awhile. Because he’s a narcissist he burned all his bridges and lost or squandered everything. But that wasn’t the reason.
      I don’t think you are rambling at all.


  4. I worry about my blog. I do have very personal stuff shared on it. I sometimes worry people judge me for my blog. One time I was on another website, it was a fat haters place, but this one woman wrote, “Fivehundredpoundpeep is nuts!” I often think I have a thick skin but right now I am feeling rejected as an Aspie in another online group, and I’m trying to tell myself to not worry about what people think of me anymore. It is tough. I felt so censored by the narcs and silenced by them, I guess I got tired of being quiet and censored. I don’t want to live life trying to be something I’m not or trying to live up to people’s endless expectations anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know you do. That’s what makes your blog so great! Never stop being honest and personal, it makes your blog so special and why it inspired me to start my own so much.

      You are not nuts, and those fat haters just hated fat people and you made an easy target. It has nothing to do with you and they were the ones with the problem.

      Sometimes I still worry that I’m being rejected, even in online communities. But although sometimes my Aspieness does show (sometimes I just say TOO MUCH, you know, TMI too much) in general, I can act much less awkward on the internet than IRL. Writing is the modality in which I communicate best. I don’t want to have to deal with “verbal cues” or having to read body language. You have time to formulate your thoughts into words, and having your own blog is great because it’s your own little kingdom and you can do whatever you want, and if someone offends, you can delete their comments. You don’t have to put up with it on your own blog because it’s YOURS.

      Liked by 1 person

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