The most obnoxious thing you can say

idontwannahearit

“There but for the grace of God go I.”

My blood boils every time I hear those words. Now, you may be thinking, why would someone get upset about that? It’s meant to be kind, to assure someone it could have just as easily been you the bad thing happened to. Surely there are much worse things you could say.

See, I don’t hear it that way, even if that’s how it’s meant. What I hear is smarmy, self-righteous judgment. By uttering that phrase, you are in effect saying, “God must like me more than he likes you” (which means I’m better and have higher moral standards than you). It’s like saying, “I’m going to heaven and you’re not, nyah nyah,” only even more obnoxious because it’s less direct than that. Wrong headed or not, that’s the way I hear it, and that’s why I fly into a rage if someone says it to me. So just don’t.

5 thoughts on “The most obnoxious thing you can say

  1. I’m sorry you don’t like that phrase. I like it because it reminds me to be grateful and to realize that I could just as easily be walking in somebody else’s shoes. To me if means the exact opposite of what you perceive it to mean, it means that I empathize with someone else.

    The phrase I can’t stand is, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” Oh yes He does! Over and over again. People who say that have never really faced some of life’s harsher challenges.

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    • Yeah, I know that’s the way most people understand that phrase and that’s the way it probably should be taken, but it’s just a trigger for me maybe because I know a few self righteous types who do like to say it. Oh, I totally agree with you about the God giving you more than you can handle blah blah. I hate that phrase too, because IT’S A LIE. If God didn’t give you more than you can handle, then why are there so many suicides, and why are there people starving to death and kids who die at the hands of their abusive parents? But I guess people need to believe it if they feel like they’ve been given too much.

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  2. Boy I feel bad that you think that is obnoxious. I never say it out loud, but I have thought it many times.

    After all of this stuff that has happened to me, I have gotten much more spiritual.

    I try to show more gratitude about my life and this is one way that I do. I thank God that he did not put such a circumstance in my path. That is my defense as to why I say it.

    I cannot explain why some people need to face so much more hardship than others in their lifetimes. But I do believe that the traumas of life does give one much more depth of soul. Of course that only has meaning if you believe that we have a soul.

    Another way I justify life’s’ adversity is, I try to imagine myself in the future when I have been fortunate enough to have lived a long life. While on my death bed, I will reflect back on my life that I have lived. Do I want to think about all of the cute pairs of shoes I owned and the manicured house I resided in? Or do I want to think of all those stories of adversity and how I overcame them?
    Sometimes when I have a difficult choice to make, I think about me on that death bed and how I would reflect on the choice I had made. Maybe all of this may sound stupid, but it is one way I try to guide my life.

    Think of all the best timeless Hollywood movies, what were they about?

    You describe yourself as a survivor and not a victim, so I believe you understand what overcoming hardship is. Wear it like a badge of honor that you deserve and don’t worry about what you think others are saying.

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    • I really appreciate your comments, and even though I don’t like that phrase, guess what? In some waysthose of us who have more trials in life are blessed–it may not seem that way, but it’s so true that having to face a lot of adversity–and overcoming it–is something that builds character and deepens your soul. If you believe in karma (I sort of do) then those with more trials to face just have more karma to work out–and maybe they’re at a point in their spiritual path where they’re ready for those sort of advanced lessons. You also make a great point–when you’re on your deathbed, you’re not going to regret not having those cute shoes or that designer dress. You’re going to be taking inventory of your life and what you have learned–we learn the most from adversity.

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